Reflections

The other day I was searching my emails for a friend's wedding invitation, and came across an email I received almost 12 years ago--four days before my own wedding. I hadn't looked at or read this email since the day it was sent, and had forgotten about it. Morbid curiosity consumed me, and I stopped to read it through.  It was a disjointed, begging, pleading email several pages long, from the person who came closest to winning the title of my ex. We had had a long, dull history of un-spiciness--exchanging books and emails and conversations mostly about things like Sir Ernest Shackleton's expedition to the Antarctic. It was the closest thing to courtship I had ever experienced, and the black hole of loneliness and desperation I was in at the time made me happy to settle for anything. (Do not ever settle, my single friends! Hold out for the best, I promise it's coming!)  After three years of this languid semi-courtship going nowhere at all, I decided to take the advice of friends and family and stop contacting him. I was realizing that this thing was all one way, and if he was actually interested in me he should pursue me--I was tired of doing all the chasing and meanwhile sacrificing my self worth.  Wouldn't you know, he predictably became a ghost in the wind. I did not hear a single word from him for 11 months, and I moved on with my life. I started practicing martial arts, hit up old friends I'd neglected, and spent a lot of time with my family.  One of the old friends who hit me up and started talking to me again was a very long time crush of mine, one TJ Greer. We met at a friend's house and the sparks flew like 4th of July when there's a burn ban in place. TJ and I talked and flirted the entire evening and my friend's daughter teased me that I was going to marry him. He hugged me goodbye in the moonlight and I felt things I had never felt before, so much that it scared me a little!  Wouldn't you know, about two weeks later the ex called. (For lack of a better word.) He acted like everything was normal and like he hadn't just neglected me excessively for well nigh a year.  I had been talking to TJ and texting him non stop, and wanted closure on my previous "relationship", so I took the opportunity to ask ex the question: "What's up with us and where do you think we are going with this?" He answered nonchalantly "OH, that. Oh yes, I'm not interested in you and don't think about me any more!" I cried for a bit, mostly out of frustration and humiliation that I had wasted so much of my time, and called TJ to tell him all about it.

If you want the details of our courtship and engagement, click the link here . It was fast, hot, and heavy--we couldn't keep our hands off each other, and both of us were beyond ready to start our lives together. Four days before my wedding I received this email. I debated in my mind whether or not to copy paste the entire thing here, but it is such a good read that I think I will. I will carefully hide all names and recognition markers because I have no desire to humiliate or embarrass anyone.

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January 6, 2015

I don't know what else to say to you Jenna. I feel as if I was trying to stop you from going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. I could see you doing that too, knowing I was right, but in a headstrong fashion doing it anyway. I don't think I could stand watching you do that either. 

The consequence of getting married without thinking the important parts of matter through are not pretty. You have no idea of the number of tragedy's I have seen that resulted from this. You see Jenna, I can not tell you for certain that you have a bad young man. He certainly did not impress anybody here. Some people can carry politeness too far at the wrong time. I get along with most people. And I did my very best to like him for your sake. But after I had to spend an entire day with him, and particularly after I saw the way you treated each other, I kind of got very upset. Basically I think he views himself as a lady's man, and that is something that decent people just don't much respect for.

What I do know for sure is that if there is a mistake to be made, you are making it.  You got upset with me, ran into him, and within three days had decided to marry him, and therefore came to the conclusion it did not matter about holding off on physical contact because you had worked it all out in the three days. If anyone you cared about came to you with a story like that, you would be pulling your hair out too. When it is a stranger you look at it and say, "well I hope that it works out but it doesn't look good". When it is someone you really, really care about you just feel awful.

You see Jenna, we know you cannot keep your head when your infatuated because you are not. Anybody who is willing to present to the public the appearance you have put on, is not thinking straight.

Basically, I think you are going to have a very tough time if you go through with this. In about six months to a year the high emotions, and excitement will wear off and you will realize that you are the same Jenna as before, who did not want to marry the same TJ as a before, for the same reasons as before. And then you will be very unhappy. 

I really think Jenna, that you should get in your car right now and get out of there. Let someone explain to the guests. These things are much easier to postpone then you think. Having a nice marriage is much more important than a nice wedding. If you could have a month or two away from it all, I think you would be able to put things into perspective and make a good decision from that point on. And maybe you would decide that you wanted to marry TJ after all. Then the two of you would both have the satisfaction of knowing that you got married because from a normal, ordinary point of view, without any oddness, you made a good decision to marry him. Right now you both can't help escaping the fact that you are only getting married because  for a few days you misunderstood (very understandably) what I actually thought when I was talking to you that day in September. If TJ has any sensibility at all that has got to bother him. It would certainly bother me.

Jenna, don't get married just because the church is arranged and you have worked out the nice little details. They don't matter at all compared to some other things. 

Don't get married based on the fact you are what is technically known as "in love". It is much easier to love someone long term who you just really, really like. And that should not be just because he knows how to handle woman. Frankly I think a young man who has to much of a way with the lady's has focused on the wrong things. I think that if you really examine yourself deeply, you will realize that you are getting married on Saturday for two reasons: One is because you are having fun. You are getting your house and wedding and all the things that go with it arranged. You have been dreaming about this for years and it is finally coming to fruition. The second is that you would feel greatly embarrassed to turn back now. I think you got into this particular young man because you felt you didn't have another option. 

None of those things will make for a happy marriage ten years from now if I am right and you are wrong. 

Believe me Jenna, if you delay this thing a few months and TJ is someone you should marry, he will wait for you. I assure you from personal experience a young man will wait as long as is necessary for whatever reason if he cares about you in the right way and believes there is good chance of things coming right in the end. 

The last three months have been most awful ones in my life. I have been doing a lousy job on my work, and haven't had slept very well. And every time I start to get reconciled to the situation I learn something new that convinces me that yes things are just as bad as I think they are. Jenna, it is not easy to lose someone you have wanted to marry for almost five years. But I don't think it would be so bad if you know that they are going to have a good life. It is shear torture when you can see quite clearly that they are not thinking about things correctly and are likely going to be very unhappy. 

I know that this email is going probably going to have very little affect on you. Right now you are trying your best to dismiss me as something unpleasant from your past that you would rather not think about. The only thing I know to do is to keep telling you the plain truth and hoping that you somehow will break all the usual rules and listen sometime before Saturday. I am not very optimistic and am afraid that you are going have to learn the hard way. And it won't be pretty. Because you know, marriage is for life! It is either a life blessing or a life sentence. You definitely don't get into something like that because of some high feelings and a few days of conversation when you were upset. 

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11 Years Later

I rolled over in bed and looked long and hard at my husband sleeping peacefully. I spent some time gazing at his face, the laugh lines and worry lines smoothed out in slumber, his muscular arm flung carelessly on top of the bedding. My sleeping baby stirred, and reached out her little chubby hand. Finding his arm, she instantly relaxed and settled back again, her beautiful eyes shaded by her long eyelashes. The way she loves her Dada and the way all of my children feel so safe with him, alone is a testimony to what a good man he is. My ex in his email 4 days before my wedding said that I was marrying TJ because I felt I had no other option and in ten years I would be unhappy. I laid there, looking around at the house we bought and the children we had and the life we built together, and deep, abiding, soul tingling, indescribable happiness welled up in me from my toes to my scalp. I felt so unbelievably blessed that I followed my heart, my head, and my instincts almost 12 years ago and didn't listen to the fear mongering and gaslighting from a person who had no real interest in my life. TJ has been the most faithful, loving, strong, and amazing husband in the world--he's perfect, and after 11.5 years of marriage that's saying something. He values me, protects me, loves me, and chooses me every day, and the happiness we have together will carry on into the next life and beyond. He also still encourages me to follow my instincts, and if something smells rotten it's bad and if someone tells me who they are, believe them.

I was such a naive, vulnerable little girl with no real life experience. I grew up unbelievably sheltered with no idea which way was up or how the world works. I know many girls who grew up the way I did and were fully taken advantage of by the men in their lives. I am so thankful for the decision I made, more than a decade ago, to jump the broomstick with the man I loved and build a life together. Thank you, ex-friend, for the window into the past and the extra reflections this week.

Greer Family Letter 2025

 Dear Friends,

Greetings on a beautiful wintry day in Colorado! As the year 2025 draws to a close, our hearts are filled with joy and gratitude for all the good things God has brought our family this year.  The highlight of course was the birth of our sweet Chloe Summer, born at home on October 11th. TJ chose the name Chloe, which means "filled with life.” Her middle name is  Summer, which not only fits the theme of our daughters’ middle names (Song & Sunshine) but also because I was so pregnant alllll summer!  Chloe is already almost three months old and is such a delight.  She has a chill, sweet personality and likes to smile and coo and babble, and observe her environment with big intelligent dark blue eyes.  Bella adores her and is a second little momma, helping change diapers and putting her baby sister down for naps.  Lizzy also helps with the diapers and likes to sing little songs to Chloe.  Oliver is expert at bouncing his baby sister in her bouncer, and tells her stories, and shows her all his toys. She makes TJ and me feel young again and remember the sweetness of a brand new baby in the house.  We already can’t imagine life without her!

Oliver is 4 ½ years old (that ½ is very important, as he will remind you!). He started part time preschool in the fall, and is enormously popular with his classmates. He swaggers in every morning and shouts “Good morning, class!” He is starting to read small words and can read and write his own name, and is learning math drills from his sisters. He loves helping his Daddy with projects in the shop, and he also helped with Chloe’s delivery which made him a very proud big brother.

Lizzy (9 years old) has grown by leaps and bounds this year, in both stature and maturity.  She is taller than her older sister and outweighs her by 25 lbs, and I’ve had to start shopping for her in the tweens section of the store. Lizzy has developed a great interest in cooking, baking, and mixing interesting drinks for us to taste. Now that she has finally conquered reading, she is reading my cookbook collection for fun and trying the recipes with varying results. Another interest of hers is Lego, and she has shown surprising patience and will spend hours putting together intricate little Lego puzzles. Lizzy also has shown herself to be the best painter in the family when it comes to large painting projects with her dad.

Bella (10 years old) is so grown up now I’m not even ready. It’s hard to believe we have double digits in the family now!  Bella was my right hand all summer helping me in the farmers market booth every Saturday. She can set up and take down the tent and table display almost entirely by herself, and serves cinnamon rolls to customers, as well as helping with production and packaging.  Bella likes to spend hours writing and drawing, and loves writing letters to friends and family.  She was a great help with Chloe’s birth and never tires of caring for her baby sister. Bella also worked very hard and earned her brown belt in karate, which she was very proud of and said was a highlight of her year.

TJ and I had a magical 10th anniversary weekend together in Cripple Creek in the beginning of the year, and then worked our tails off all summer–he continued to run his very successful construction company, Greer Innovations, doing home renovations and repair projects of all sizes throughout the El Paso County area.  TJ continues his studies in the Bible and theology, and in keeping with the great theologians of the age has taken up the hobby of cigars. He also enjoys playing video games with the kids, on his Nintendo and PS5 gaming systems. 

Because of my pregnancy this year I only signed up for one farmer’s market, but had enormous success with customers lining up to buy my cinnamon rolls until they sold out every Saturday. I hiked the Manitou Incline with Bella in May, and kept up with my karate training until a couple months before the end of my pregnancy, attending karate camp in June.  We enjoyed tubing down the Arkansas River again this year, and going on short hiking trips.  We also were blessed by visits from out of state family members–the Atwells in the spring and also in the fall (to see baby Chloe!), and my mom in the summer.

My Dad (Andy) continues to do his biking and swimming, and has gotten very involved with his church fellowship.  

Other family additions this year were 15 baby chicks in the spring, which are beautiful grown up chickens now who are giving us lots of eggs. We also acquired a sweet gray and white kitty from the neighbors, who came to us named Prince, then the kids renamed him Pickles, but I like to call him Rocket–and he ends up mostly being called The Cat. He loves chasing squirrels out of our backyard and snoozing in the sunlight on the back of the sofa.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas season and Happy New Year,

TJ,  Jenna, Isabella, Elizabeth, Oliver, & Chloe Greer

Greer Family Update 2024

January 2025 

Greetings, friends and family!

     2024 was such a full, fun year for us, filled with challenges and growth. It seemed to flash by in a nanosecond, and yet we captured so many golden memories along the way that I love to look back and remember every bit of it, while at the same time looking forward to what 2025 has in store for our little family.  

     March 2, the girls and I enjoyed our first big karate tournament in Denver, where we learned a lot and won first and second places in our categories. I also sold my mini van and bought my dream vehicle, a Lincoln Navigator. It's wonderful to have AWD again instead of becoming immolated at home during every snow storm! I love my new car and even learned how to change the oil.  In April we enjoyed what is becoming a yearly visit from our dear aunt and uncle and cousin from California, Tante Anita, Onkel Tim and Christina.  TJ had a rare and fortunate break from work and we were all able to tour Cheyenne Mountain Zoo (where it snowed the whole time), Garden of the Gods (warm and sunny!), Manitou Springs, celebrate Oliver's 3rd birthday, and they were able to watch a rare triple belt promotion (where Bella, Lizzy, and I all tested at the same time!). 

     Oliver is our spunky three year old, and it's been such a pleasure watching him grow up.  He is our happy, friendly, energetic little boy who adores his Daddy and wants to do everything Daddy does, but also follows his sisters around wanting to be included in everything they do as well. He is already doing preschool and sounding out words, and this summer he learned how to swim! He is also becoming much more confident on his inline skates.

     Summer flew by, with farmer's markets every weekend, a camping trip to Eleven Mile Lake, and lots and lots of swimming and karate.  TJ worked 80 hour weeks as our company Greer Innovations flourished and word of mouth brought almost more work than we could handle.  He was fortunate to find a wonderful crew of part time subcontractors who could help him out as needed. I'm so proud of him and how he has kept our company's reputation sacred and built so many lasting relationships among the business owners of our community! 

    In August, our friend Andrew Powers finally succeeded in dragging us down to Pueblo and introducing us to the joys of tubing the Arkansas River, and thereafter we were to be found every warm Sunday afternoon either serenely floating the green waters, laughing as our tubes swirled around the rapids and occasionally capsized, or bodysurfing the epic slide located in the center of the river as it flows through City Park. Tante Anita coming out for a second visit in September was the perfect ending to a beautiful summer! 

     Bella turned nine at the end of September, and celebrated her birthday at the park surrounded by her many friends.  She is our gorgeous, silly, serious, responsible fourth grader, with piercing blue eyes and a fiercely loyal heart. We have many conversations with her about all sorts of things, and she asks extremely intelligent questions and comes to her own conclusions on many issues.  She loves God and the Bible and can't wait to be old enough to assist me in teaching my class of 2-3 year olds at church. Her favorite hobbies are swimming, roller blading, and writing letters to her friends and family. She also achieved red belt in karate and has shown remarkable talent in music and playing by ear on the piano.

     October was a crazy month for us. As you might have noticed, once again our address has changed (hopefully for the last time, at least for a while!) We have been patiently and casually looking at homes for quite a while, waiting for the right moment to buy. The right home, at the right price, in perfect timing, basically dropped into our laps!  Halloween night instead of trick or treating with my kiddos, I found myself unloading a large Uhaul moving truck for the sixth time and frantically hunting for my limited supply of candy to hand out to the neighborhood kids who came up the sidewalk. The minute the last box was unloaded, a perfect Apocalypse of snow descended upon us and it snowed for a solid week, measuring literally feet deep. I haven't seen such a snow storm before in our three years of living here in Colorado! It was wonderful though, I kept the fire in our wood burning heater crackling and unpacked and set up my very own home in record time. I love my granite countertops, split level rooms, our spacious basement, our back porch perfect for rocking chairs and knitting bags, our enormous custom swingset/fort, and my half acre of gardening and chickens potential. Please come visit us! We are centrally located to the whole country and so you have no excuse 😝. 

     My Dad (Andy Stoeppler) still lives with us, and enjoys bike riding and swimming. He also has grown quite fond of my budgies, and spends a lot of time talking to the birds and buying them treats. He reads stories to the kids and helps out around the house, and has made many friends through our church.

     In November, our feisty, spirited Lizzy Sunshine turned eight years old. She worked very hard this year making her lollipop business a surprising success, and has over a thousand dollars in her own bank account as a result.  She is a great shopper, a fascinating thinker, and her creativity never ceases to amaze me. She has more self confidence than I will ever possess, and she accomplished the feat this year of growing both taller and heavier than her older sister. She has also become extremely interested in cooking and has the makings of being a wonderful chef. At least fifty people showed up to her winter wonderland themed birthday party in our new backyard!

     December was a restful and family oriented holiday season, as we celebrated with friends and enjoyed almost continual snow storms with breaks of remarkably warm weather. We rekindled our family love of inline skating, and almost every Friday and Sunday we are to be found tearing up the floor at Skate City. We finished out the New Year with a traditional German raclette dinner with dear friends, and actually managed to stay up till midnight this time and opened the doors to let 2025 in as the neighbors blasted off fireworks. Perfection.

With Love and Peace,

Jenna, TJ, Bella, Lizzy, Oliver, & Andy

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" Psalm 133:1

In Defense of the Patriarchy

Ah yes, I'm definitely going to get myself in trouble with this one.  In the sea of swirling waves of controversy surrounding the genders--if genders even exist, according to some--I've noticed a theme pop up over and over again. From the Barbie movie last summer starring Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie, to disgruntled feminists frantically searching for somebody to blame their woes on, to individuals heartbroken and deeply damaged by somebody, it is really easy to pin all the blame on this thing called the Patriarchy. Nobody really even knows what the patriarchy is. It's a nebulous word that's come to symbolize all things bad, in a way that's really quite unfair.  Words are losing their meanings these days, like the word toxic,  which used to mean poisonous but now it simply means anything you don't happen to like.

The definition of the word patriarchy according to the dictionary is,

"A system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line."

There is a part of the human psyche that automatically rebels against coercion, and at the very same time embraces good leadership as necessary to our very existence. I love studying history. There have been so many great leaders who throughout the centuries inspired their subordinates to follow them to the death. A few I can think of off the top of my head are Hannibal, Magellan, and Napoleon, who despite their failings as humans and the devastation they wrought in their day inspired a fanatical devotion in the soldiers who were willing to do anything and brave any hardship for their leaders. Most humans enjoy the comfort of knowing somebody else is making the rules and calling the shots for them, and humans are also very suggestible.  Some of the worst atrocities in society have happened because somebody in authority made a decision and nobody stood up and said "Hell no we aren't doing that!"

I am observing an entire generation of women today who are growing up and having children outside of wedlock, leaving their husbands, or not getting married at all because they've been taught that they are supposed to be allergic to male leadership, and to be afraid of "giving power to a man." This is incredibly sad and disheartening!  These women are unfulfilled, sad, lonely, and lost. Even when they think they are happy with their lot, they must needs post multiple tiktoks reiterating just how happy they are, trying to assure themselves of their imagined happiness. Additionally I've seen a whole new social media trend pop up where women are complaining that they can't find any good men anymore.  "Where are the men?" they cry, with wringing hands and mascara streaked cheeks.  

At the same time, boys are growing up emasculated and effeminate, and not only are they told from birth that they are inherently bad, but that they will never ever be allowed to grow into their God-given roles as leaders of men and women both.  This frustrates a real man to his core, and thus we see misogynistic humans like Andrew Tate pop up who veer to the opposite extreme trying to counter balance the castration of men everywhere.  

Extremes are generally not good. Extreme diets of any kind are unhealthy. Extreme exercise destroys the body. Extreme beliefs harm others. Extreme forms of authority with no counterbalances or checks become abusive.  I grew up with extreme "Christianity."  Verses were cherrypicked out of the Bible and twisted to fit whatever odd idea our leaders came up with, including the concept of purity culture and the worship of virginity.  Now that I am an adult, I am seeing an extreme reaction to those views and a swing in the opposite direction, leaving my peers hanging loose with broken marriages and broken views of God. Both extremes are wrong.

I read an article today about Elisabeth Elliot, a household name in my childhood home and a prolific writer and speaker. (Read the article here .)  This article deeply saddened me.  It goes into detail on her abusive third marriage, a truly sad situation. Where the article departs from sanity is when the author ascribes Elisabeth's trials in her third marriage to "the patriarchy."  And before any of you get on a high horse and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, I grew up with a more extreme version of Bill Gothard's absurd teachings on authority.  I saw constant abuses of authority growing up, and still to this day I see it.  The problem isn't the structure of authority however.  The problem is the people who abuse and enable abuse of authority.  Elisabeth Elliot simply made the mistake of marrying a very bad man, and other weak or bad men aided and abetted his abuse of power.  But concluding that it was the power that made him bad is ridiculous.  It's like seeing a horrible case of child abuse in the news (or experiencing it) and coming to the conclusion that all parents are abusers and the role of parents should be abolished.  

This is an absurd and toxic conclusion. (Yes, I used the word toxic--it is an absolutely poisonous conclusion!)  Men are born to be leaders, whether in large ways or small.  The natural instinct of men is to protect and provide for women and children, and it has been so from the beginning of societal structures.  In order for the human race to survive this long, men have had to be protectors and providers!  And don't  you dare point a finger at me and shriek that women are equally good at protecting and providing.  No, we are not.   And it's not a matter of equality either.  That's such a beaten to death word!  There's not a man in the world who can grow a child in his belly and birth and feed that child with his body.   I tell my daughters all the time that we women are uniquely amazing and special.  I teach my girls that they are QUEENS and deserve the respect, admiration, and protection of men wherever they go.   Men can do things women can't, and women are born to do things and be things that men cannot.  And that's OK.  

It's not only OK but it's good, and right.  Sure, there are often exceptions to the rule.  There always have been.  But modern society likes to point to exceptions and scream that those should be the norm, and meanwhile complain that things aren't right. There has never been such an epidemic of loneliness and depression since the first cave man crawled out of his cave and grunted hello to his neighbor.  

Here's my conclusion.  Authority, wielded correctly by a good man, is not only a very good thing but a lifesaving thing.  My husband loves me more than any other woman on earth, and I know that. He only wants whatever is best for me, and he loves to provide, protect, and make me the happiest woman in the world. When he cautions me about something, or puts his foot down (which happens very rarely) I listen because I know him and I know his heart is to guide our family in the right direction and provide the very best life for us.  Sure, he isn't perfect and makes occasional mistakes.  But he is a much better leader than I am, and I'm here at his side to help him be the best man he can be.  We're in this journey of life together, and we each look out for the other's interests.  We have each other's backs, and we create an impenetrably safe space where each of us can feel heard and loved and seen.   It's a beautiful relationship that has lasted more than nine years, beating the average length of an American marriage by a lot.   I have not once regretted saying Yes to him and giving him a place of authority in my life.  I follow his leadership because it is good, and he is a good leader.  He always listens to me, and takes me seriously.  He has never once put me down or made fun of my ideas.  He encourages me in my own interests and hobbies.  His desire is that I am the strongest, most capable woman I can possibly be.  He has the kind of steady, faithful strength that it takes to run the marathon of life and win.  I hope my son grows up to be just like him.

To every man who has sacrificed body, life, and soul for his family, I salute you.  May the patriarchy live long and prosper!

The Oldest Craft

 

Well, it looks like my posts are actually coming out every two weeks. 😛 It's a good start, as I think I only wrote two posts the entirety of last year. 

Part of my health journey (new post about this soon!) that I didn't at all expect, was that along with the new energy and ability to fit into my clothes that I feel, would be a wakening interest in my old hobbies. When I got married 9 years ago, part of uniting my life with my husband's was a loss of all motivation to do anything that didn't involve him. We did everything together, and didn't like making plans where the other wasn't involved. This is good and healthy and part of a new marriage relationship, and it was so much fun! I didn't want to spend one single second apart from him. In a word, I got fat and happy, lost all my hobbies, and had kids. 

One of my fears as I watched marriages crumble all around me was that if I had my own life and my own hobbies or spent any time away from my husband, I would lose him. Part of maturity seems to be learning not to live my life by fear or make decisions in fear. One of the side effects of this fear was that I completely let myself go, because my husband was too busy working to go to the gym with me, and I had no discipline when it came to my food choices. A great lesson I learned this past year, at age 36 and 9 years into my relationship, was that taking care of myself is not only not selfish, it's actually essential to my marriage and my kids and even to my existence.  I am not advocating for developing a life of your own away from husband and kids. Not at all, that is one of my pet peeves. I do not need time away from them. Other than maybe an hour to myself occasionally to recharge, I love all my people and my very favorite and most restful place is with my husband and children.  What I'm saying is that my relationship with TJ has matured to the point where although he is still my favorite person to do everything with, I have finally allowed myself to have hobbies and interests where he is not involved. If he wanted to be involved, wonderful. But he isn't interested in crocheting, sewing, karate, and now archery the way I am. He's busy building his wonderful little company and taking care of the family. I used to feel bad that I wasn't interested in video games and music the way he is. But now I don't feel bad about that at all. I like that he has his things he likes to do, and I enjoy hanging out and watching him play video games or practice music. He comes to watch me do karate sometimes, and he complains when I stay up too late crocheting. It's a very healthy, happy dynamic, and adds a layer of interest and fun to our relationship!  It keeps the magic and mystery alive. 

My latest new hobby that's actually a very very old one, is the ancient craft of archery. According to paleontologists, the invention of bows and arrows was in the Paleolithic period, about 71,000 years ago.  According to the Bible, it was probably soon after Adam and Eve's kids began to quarrel that the bow and arrow were invented. It's conjecture of course, but I can imagine that after Cain bashed Abel's head in with a rock, his brothers invented bows to keep him at a distance and then he invented bigger bows to keep them out of his city. Anyway, the bow and arrow has been used for centuries, and the simplicity of it as well as the skill, craftsmanship, and connection to our ancestors fascinates me. My Dad has enjoyed archery since he was a boy, and even though he never became expert he is a natural marksman.

I was in Scheel's last week without the kids, for a business meeting, and so happened to have some time to kill. I had been wanting to try their recurve bows for months, ever since I bought Bella her first bow for her birthday last year. I can't shoot her bow because it's too small of course. But I have been wanting to find more activities to enjoy with my children, and I used to be very interested in archery years ago and practice with my brother's compound bow. So I found an extremely helpful employee who went over bow options with me, and let me try out several in their shooting gallery. I fell in love with a gorgeous inlaid 45 lb recurve bow with maple limbs and a layered dark walnut grip. It was surprisingly inexpensive and I bought it on the spot. When I came home with it, my Dad became so excited and asked to go shooting with me. Since he moved in with us last April, even though we see each other all the time we don't really "do" anything together besides church. We went shooting at the free Bear Creek range, and it was SO much fun!!!!! Bella enjoyed using her bow and I promised Lizzy if she learns to shoot with Bella's bow I'll buy her one too. 

I like archery for so many reasons. The pure athletic challenge of it, the skill required, all the fine tuning needed to attain a consistent shot, the fact that it's a totally safe weapon because my kids can't even pull my bow and so they can't accidentally shoot anything, and also how it's nice and quiet. It was an incredibly bonding experience with my Dad and my kids, with Bella and Lizzy taking turns and Oliver handing us arrows. I look forward to taking TJ with us when he gets any time at all off work!