Greer Family Update 2024

January 2025 

Greetings, friends and family!

     2024 was such a full, fun year for us, filled with challenges and growth. It seemed to flash by in a nanosecond, and yet we captured so many golden memories along the way that I love to look back and remember every bit of it, while at the same time looking forward to what 2025 has in store for our little family.  

     March 2, the girls and I enjoyed our first big karate tournament in Denver, where we learned a lot and won first and second places in our categories. I also sold my mini van and bought my dream vehicle, a Lincoln Navigator. It's wonderful to have AWD again instead of becoming immolated at home during every snow storm! I love my new car and even learned how to change the oil.  In April we enjoyed what is becoming a yearly visit from our dear aunt and uncle and cousin from California, Tante Anita, Onkel Tim and Christina.  TJ had a rare and fortunate break from work and we were all able to tour Cheyenne Mountain Zoo (where it snowed the whole time), Garden of the Gods (warm and sunny!), Manitou Springs, celebrate Oliver's 3rd birthday, and they were able to watch a rare triple belt promotion (where Bella, Lizzy, and I all tested at the same time!). 

     Oliver is our spunky three year old, and it's been such a pleasure watching him grow up.  He is our happy, friendly, energetic little boy who adores his Daddy and wants to do everything Daddy does, but also follows his sisters around wanting to be included in everything they do as well. He is already doing preschool and sounding out words, and this summer he learned how to swim! He is also becoming much more confident on his inline skates.

     Summer flew by, with farmer's markets every weekend, a camping trip to Eleven Mile Lake, and lots and lots of swimming and karate.  TJ worked 80 hour weeks as our company Greer Innovations flourished and word of mouth brought almost more work than we could handle.  He was fortunate to find a wonderful crew of part time subcontractors who could help him out as needed. I'm so proud of him and how he has kept our company's reputation sacred and built so many lasting relationships among the business owners of our community! 

    In August, our friend Andrew Powers finally succeeded in dragging us down to Pueblo and introducing us to the joys of tubing the Arkansas River, and thereafter we were to be found every warm Sunday afternoon either serenely floating the green waters, laughing as our tubes swirled around the rapids and occasionally capsized, or bodysurfing the epic slide located in the center of the river as it flows through City Park. Tante Anita coming out for a second visit in September was the perfect ending to a beautiful summer! 

     Bella turned nine at the end of September, and celebrated her birthday at the park surrounded by her many friends.  She is our gorgeous, silly, serious, responsible fourth grader, with piercing blue eyes and a fiercely loyal heart. We have many conversations with her about all sorts of things, and she asks extremely intelligent questions and comes to her own conclusions on many issues.  She loves God and the Bible and can't wait to be old enough to assist me in teaching my class of 2-3 year olds at church. Her favorite hobbies are swimming, roller blading, and writing letters to her friends and family. She also achieved red belt in karate and has shown remarkable talent in music and playing by ear on the piano.

     October was a crazy month for us. As you might have noticed, once again our address has changed (hopefully for the last time, at least for a while!) We have been patiently and casually looking at homes for quite a while, waiting for the right moment to buy. The right home, at the right price, in perfect timing, basically dropped into our laps!  Halloween night instead of trick or treating with my kiddos, I found myself unloading a large Uhaul moving truck for the sixth time and frantically hunting for my limited supply of candy to hand out to the neighborhood kids who came up the sidewalk. The minute the last box was unloaded, a perfect Apocalypse of snow descended upon us and it snowed for a solid week, measuring literally feet deep. I haven't seen such a snow storm before in our three years of living here in Colorado! It was wonderful though, I kept the fire in our wood burning heater crackling and unpacked and set up my very own home in record time. I love my granite countertops, split level rooms, our spacious basement, our back porch perfect for rocking chairs and knitting bags, our enormous custom swingset/fort, and my half acre of gardening and chickens potential. Please come visit us! We are centrally located to the whole country and so you have no excuse 😝. 

     My Dad (Andy Stoeppler) still lives with us, and enjoys bike riding and swimming. He also has grown quite fond of my budgies, and spends a lot of time talking to the birds and buying them treats. He reads stories to the kids and helps out around the house, and has made many friends through our church.

     In November, our feisty, spirited Lizzy Sunshine turned eight years old. She worked very hard this year making her lollipop business a surprising success, and has over a thousand dollars in her own bank account as a result.  She is a great shopper, a fascinating thinker, and her creativity never ceases to amaze me. She has more self confidence than I will ever possess, and she accomplished the feat this year of growing both taller and heavier than her older sister. She has also become extremely interested in cooking and has the makings of being a wonderful chef. At least fifty people showed up to her winter wonderland themed birthday party in our new backyard!

     December was a restful and family oriented holiday season, as we celebrated with friends and enjoyed almost continual snow storms with breaks of remarkably warm weather. We rekindled our family love of inline skating, and almost every Friday and Sunday we are to be found tearing up the floor at Skate City. We finished out the New Year with a traditional German raclette dinner with dear friends, and actually managed to stay up till midnight this time and opened the doors to let 2025 in as the neighbors blasted off fireworks. Perfection.

With Love and Peace,

Jenna, TJ, Bella, Lizzy, Oliver, & Andy

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" Psalm 133:1

In Defense of the Patriarchy

Ah yes, I'm definitely going to get myself in trouble with this one.  In the sea of swirling waves of controversy surrounding the genders--if genders even exist, according to some--I've noticed a theme pop up over and over again. From the Barbie movie last summer starring Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie, to disgruntled feminists frantically searching for somebody to blame their woes on, to individuals heartbroken and deeply damaged by somebody, it is really easy to pin all the blame on this thing called the Patriarchy. Nobody really even knows what the patriarchy is. It's a nebulous word that's come to symbolize all things bad, in a way that's really quite unfair.  Words are losing their meanings these days, like the word toxic,  which used to mean poisonous but now it simply means anything you don't happen to like.

The definition of the word patriarchy according to the dictionary is,

"A system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line."

There is a part of the human psyche that automatically rebels against coercion, and at the very same time embraces good leadership as necessary to our very existence. I love studying history. There have been so many great leaders who throughout the centuries inspired their subordinates to follow them to the death. A few I can think of off the top of my head are Hannibal, Magellan, and Napoleon, who despite their failings as humans and the devastation they wrought in their day inspired a fanatical devotion in the soldiers who were willing to do anything and brave any hardship for their leaders. Most humans enjoy the comfort of knowing somebody else is making the rules and calling the shots for them, and humans are also very suggestible.  Some of the worst atrocities in society have happened because somebody in authority made a decision and nobody stood up and said "Hell no we aren't doing that!"

I am observing an entire generation of women today who are growing up and having children outside of wedlock, leaving their husbands, or not getting married at all because they've been taught that they are supposed to be allergic to male leadership, and to be afraid of "giving power to a man." This is incredibly sad and disheartening!  These women are unfulfilled, sad, lonely, and lost. Even when they think they are happy with their lot, they must needs post multiple tiktoks reiterating just how happy they are, trying to assure themselves of their imagined happiness. Additionally I've seen a whole new social media trend pop up where women are complaining that they can't find any good men anymore.  "Where are the men?" they cry, with wringing hands and mascara streaked cheeks.  

At the same time, boys are growing up emasculated and effeminate, and not only are they told from birth that they are inherently bad, but that they will never ever be allowed to grow into their God-given roles as leaders of men and women both.  This frustrates a real man to his core, and thus we see misogynistic humans like Andrew Tate pop up who veer to the opposite extreme trying to counter balance the castration of men everywhere.  

Extremes are generally not good. Extreme diets of any kind are unhealthy. Extreme exercise destroys the body. Extreme beliefs harm others. Extreme forms of authority with no counterbalances or checks become abusive.  I grew up with extreme "Christianity."  Verses were cherrypicked out of the Bible and twisted to fit whatever odd idea our leaders came up with, including the concept of purity culture and the worship of virginity.  Now that I am an adult, I am seeing an extreme reaction to those views and a swing in the opposite direction, leaving my peers hanging loose with broken marriages and broken views of God. Both extremes are wrong.

I read an article today about Elisabeth Elliot, a household name in my childhood home and a prolific writer and speaker. (Read the article here .)  This article deeply saddened me.  It goes into detail on her abusive third marriage, a truly sad situation. Where the article departs from sanity is when the author ascribes Elisabeth's trials in her third marriage to "the patriarchy."  And before any of you get on a high horse and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, I grew up with a more extreme version of Bill Gothard's absurd teachings on authority.  I saw constant abuses of authority growing up, and still to this day I see it.  The problem isn't the structure of authority however.  The problem is the people who abuse and enable abuse of authority.  Elisabeth Elliot simply made the mistake of marrying a very bad man, and other weak or bad men aided and abetted his abuse of power.  But concluding that it was the power that made him bad is ridiculous.  It's like seeing a horrible case of child abuse in the news (or experiencing it) and coming to the conclusion that all parents are abusers and the role of parents should be abolished.  

This is an absurd and toxic conclusion. (Yes, I used the word toxic--it is an absolutely poisonous conclusion!)  Men are born to be leaders, whether in large ways or small.  The natural instinct of men is to protect and provide for women and children, and it has been so from the beginning of societal structures.  In order for the human race to survive this long, men have had to be protectors and providers!  And don't  you dare point a finger at me and shriek that women are equally good at protecting and providing.  No, we are not.   And it's not a matter of equality either.  That's such a beaten to death word!  There's not a man in the world who can grow a child in his belly and birth and feed that child with his body.   I tell my daughters all the time that we women are uniquely amazing and special.  I teach my girls that they are QUEENS and deserve the respect, admiration, and protection of men wherever they go.   Men can do things women can't, and women are born to do things and be things that men cannot.  And that's OK.  

It's not only OK but it's good, and right.  Sure, there are often exceptions to the rule.  There always have been.  But modern society likes to point to exceptions and scream that those should be the norm, and meanwhile complain that things aren't right. There has never been such an epidemic of loneliness and depression since the first cave man crawled out of his cave and grunted hello to his neighbor.  

Here's my conclusion.  Authority, wielded correctly by a good man, is not only a very good thing but a lifesaving thing.  My husband loves me more than any other woman on earth, and I know that. He only wants whatever is best for me, and he loves to provide, protect, and make me the happiest woman in the world. When he cautions me about something, or puts his foot down (which happens very rarely) I listen because I know him and I know his heart is to guide our family in the right direction and provide the very best life for us.  Sure, he isn't perfect and makes occasional mistakes.  But he is a much better leader than I am, and I'm here at his side to help him be the best man he can be.  We're in this journey of life together, and we each look out for the other's interests.  We have each other's backs, and we create an impenetrably safe space where each of us can feel heard and loved and seen.   It's a beautiful relationship that has lasted more than nine years, beating the average length of an American marriage by a lot.   I have not once regretted saying Yes to him and giving him a place of authority in my life.  I follow his leadership because it is good, and he is a good leader.  He always listens to me, and takes me seriously.  He has never once put me down or made fun of my ideas.  He encourages me in my own interests and hobbies.  His desire is that I am the strongest, most capable woman I can possibly be.  He has the kind of steady, faithful strength that it takes to run the marathon of life and win.  I hope my son grows up to be just like him.

To every man who has sacrificed body, life, and soul for his family, I salute you.  May the patriarchy live long and prosper!

The Oldest Craft

 

Well, it looks like my posts are actually coming out every two weeks. 😛 It's a good start, as I think I only wrote two posts the entirety of last year. 

Part of my health journey (new post about this soon!) that I didn't at all expect, was that along with the new energy and ability to fit into my clothes that I feel, would be a wakening interest in my old hobbies. When I got married 9 years ago, part of uniting my life with my husband's was a loss of all motivation to do anything that didn't involve him. We did everything together, and didn't like making plans where the other wasn't involved. This is good and healthy and part of a new marriage relationship, and it was so much fun! I didn't want to spend one single second apart from him. In a word, I got fat and happy, lost all my hobbies, and had kids. 

One of my fears as I watched marriages crumble all around me was that if I had my own life and my own hobbies or spent any time away from my husband, I would lose him. Part of maturity seems to be learning not to live my life by fear or make decisions in fear. One of the side effects of this fear was that I completely let myself go, because my husband was too busy working to go to the gym with me, and I had no discipline when it came to my food choices. A great lesson I learned this past year, at age 36 and 9 years into my relationship, was that taking care of myself is not only not selfish, it's actually essential to my marriage and my kids and even to my existence.  I am not advocating for developing a life of your own away from husband and kids. Not at all, that is one of my pet peeves. I do not need time away from them. Other than maybe an hour to myself occasionally to recharge, I love all my people and my very favorite and most restful place is with my husband and children.  What I'm saying is that my relationship with TJ has matured to the point where although he is still my favorite person to do everything with, I have finally allowed myself to have hobbies and interests where he is not involved. If he wanted to be involved, wonderful. But he isn't interested in crocheting, sewing, karate, and now archery the way I am. He's busy building his wonderful little company and taking care of the family. I used to feel bad that I wasn't interested in video games and music the way he is. But now I don't feel bad about that at all. I like that he has his things he likes to do, and I enjoy hanging out and watching him play video games or practice music. He comes to watch me do karate sometimes, and he complains when I stay up too late crocheting. It's a very healthy, happy dynamic, and adds a layer of interest and fun to our relationship!  It keeps the magic and mystery alive. 

My latest new hobby that's actually a very very old one, is the ancient craft of archery. According to paleontologists, the invention of bows and arrows was in the Paleolithic period, about 71,000 years ago.  According to the Bible, it was probably soon after Adam and Eve's kids began to quarrel that the bow and arrow were invented. It's conjecture of course, but I can imagine that after Cain bashed Abel's head in with a rock, his brothers invented bows to keep him at a distance and then he invented bigger bows to keep them out of his city. Anyway, the bow and arrow has been used for centuries, and the simplicity of it as well as the skill, craftsmanship, and connection to our ancestors fascinates me. My Dad has enjoyed archery since he was a boy, and even though he never became expert he is a natural marksman.

I was in Scheel's last week without the kids, for a business meeting, and so happened to have some time to kill. I had been wanting to try their recurve bows for months, ever since I bought Bella her first bow for her birthday last year. I can't shoot her bow because it's too small of course. But I have been wanting to find more activities to enjoy with my children, and I used to be very interested in archery years ago and practice with my brother's compound bow. So I found an extremely helpful employee who went over bow options with me, and let me try out several in their shooting gallery. I fell in love with a gorgeous inlaid 45 lb recurve bow with maple limbs and a layered dark walnut grip. It was surprisingly inexpensive and I bought it on the spot. When I came home with it, my Dad became so excited and asked to go shooting with me. Since he moved in with us last April, even though we see each other all the time we don't really "do" anything together besides church. We went shooting at the free Bear Creek range, and it was SO much fun!!!!! Bella enjoyed using her bow and I promised Lizzy if she learns to shoot with Bella's bow I'll buy her one too. 

I like archery for so many reasons. The pure athletic challenge of it, the skill required, all the fine tuning needed to attain a consistent shot, the fact that it's a totally safe weapon because my kids can't even pull my bow and so they can't accidentally shoot anything, and also how it's nice and quiet. It was an incredibly bonding experience with my Dad and my kids, with Bella and Lizzy taking turns and Oliver handing us arrows. I look forward to taking TJ with us when he gets any time at all off work!

Nine Years

 

I did not post a blog entry last week, for the most excellent reason that I simply forgot. We celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary that weekend, and the romantical festivities chased most other thoughts out of my head. I used to journal extensively and aggressively, and have over a thousand pages of journals saved up in my hard drive. But I noticed that when I got married, I lost my motivation for journaling. When I stopped to think about it, I realized that my reasons for journaling were to capture the happiest moments of my life and then relive them by rereading them over and over (yes I re-read my journals like a crazy person). Nine years ago my life changed so drastically that every moment was golden, and I no longer felt the pressing need to preserve them on pages because they were so numerous and daily and never stopped. 

That's what marriage to TJ Greer has been like, for nine years. A growing, strong, beautiful thing that puts down deeper roots and reaches up to the sky with every passing moment. I am reminded of a thousand year old oak tree, and we have 991 years to go. Our relationship has matured from young, passionate love, to the kind of love that has permeated every molecule of our beings and our very existence is wrapped up in each other, while at the same time maintaining a balance of healthy individuality. As TJ so eloquently put it, "Everyone knows we belong to each other."

Nine years, or seven years depending on where you get your information, is the current statistic on the average length of the American marriage. This is a sad exposé on the state of society, where selfishness is upheld as a virtue and sacrifice is criticized as unhealthy. The example that millennials have set for Gen Z and Gen Alpha is, frankly, heartbreaking. Family is thought of as a burden, not a blessing. This needs to be turned around, and I have great hope for my children and for the diminishing voices of reason and responsibility around us. We need to be a shining light of positivity, and speak truth and life from the heart every chance we get.

Nine years seems like a long time. But when you're married to your best friend, like I am, it's like a blip on the radar. I look back on everything we've been through together, and the tapestry of life we have woven is beautiful to behold. We sat in the restaurant for hours, reminiscing on the past and planning the future together. TJ still makes me laugh, every day. He brings me so much joy, and is expert at listening and helping me untangle my thoughts. For anyone who is considering marriage, equal vision is the most important thing of all. More important than "compatibility", religion, spark, or anything else deemed necessary for a healthy marriage, equal vision determines the course of your relationship. You must want the same things in life, and the rest of it is simply details. 

To TJ

The moment you first smiled at me

And my heart did a double take

I knew somewhere deep inside

You were my true soul-mate.

Time passed on, and you found me

You made me all your own

The happiness I have with you

I couldn’t have guessed or known.

We’ve been together for so long

And yet so little time

I hope and dream with you again

You are my friend, my kind.

My love for you is deep and strong

As wind and wave and sea

As high as mountains, wide as space

We’re united, you and me.

A mighty oak from acorns grows,

And tempests makes it grander

Our hearts from small beginnings flowed

And trials made us stronger.

Two rivers run together deep

And cannot be separated

Our lives entwined nine years ago

Molecules integrated.

You make me laugh, and love, and ponder

How lucky I must be

To have found a friend like you

Forever in harmony!

Jenna Greer

January 2024

Vignettes of Life

 

2024 sneaked up on us with not much warning and very little drama. The year was ushered into the Greer household with Godzilla movies, white Russians and strawberry daiquiris (for the adults). I do not like New Year's resolutions. If a change needs to be made, you should make it now and not wait for an arbitrary time to improve your life. However, I love fresh starts and new beginnings. I love coming up with new ways to organize my life, inventing better ways to store my receipts and meal plan for example. Little things have always made me happy.

Last week I was running some errands and doing some shopping, and the kids were behaving like absolute angels until we got to the bread section at Trader Joe's when all hell broke loose. Some kind of gluten demon must have been lurking among the loaves, because suddenly all three kiddos were screaming at each other at the same time. I felt the judgmental stares of other shoppers (the store was packed of course) drilling into my unfortunate back as I frantically tried to quietly quieten my offspring as calmly and quietly as possible. I noticed an older lady watching us as I threatened confiscation of all the good things in life if they didn't stop the obscene caterwauling this instant. She came up behind me, and gave me a warm hug, and her kind words cut clearly through the chaos: "Before you know it, they'll be 30. You got this!"

All my children are good singers. Lately Oliver has been making up his own songs, and he has perfect pitch. My favorite thing is when he hugs my neck and croons "I love my mommy, you're the best. You're my best friend in the whole wide world!" Lizzy's songs are usually about Jesus and rainbows.

8 year old Bella is way too bright and asks questions I have to stop and think about. The other day she was marveling at how our female bodies already hold all the eggs our future children will grow from. This morning as I was cooking breakfast before church, she comes up to me and asks earnestly "Mommy, where are the eggs in my body?" I had to stop and realize she didn't mean the type of eggs that were sizzling in the pan, and then I explained about ovaries and uteruses. She exclaimed "Gross!" and walked away. Ha ha.

The weather has been a blast from the Ice Age past lately. I took the children on a hike last week and we made it a quarter mile down the trail with the girls asking to stop and play in the (iced-over) creek and Oliver wanting, boy-like, to pee in the snow every few yards. We finally made our furthest stop at a waterfall decorated with gorgeous icicles and pinnacles of ice building and falling over each other, water frozen solid in it's frantic haste to tumble over the small cliff. Lizzy was bitterly disappointed that I hadn't had the forethought to pack swim suits, so they couldn't go swimming. 

This morning at church after the service, I realized I had forgotten to return my lanyard to my classroom after teaching. I popped back in to hang it up on the hook, and noticed my classroom wasn't empty. Three teenagers were sitting at a table reading the Bible out loud to each other. In most of the churches we've attended, the teens would form unholy gangs in the back (or front) of the church avoiding worship and not at all interested in spiritual things. This little scene made my heart so happy. We have finally found a home with the International Anglican Church here in Colorado Springs!

One of my fresh starts and new leaves I'm turning is the attempt to follow through with my writing. I want to start slow with writing a blog post (no matter how short) every Sunday evening and publishing it Monday mornings. I'm stating it here and hopefully I'll show some follow through!

2024 will be the best year yet.