Nine Years

 

I did not post a blog entry last week, for the most excellent reason that I simply forgot. We celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary that weekend, and the romantical festivities chased most other thoughts out of my head. I used to journal extensively and aggressively, and have over a thousand pages of journals saved up in my hard drive. But I noticed that when I got married, I lost my motivation for journaling. When I stopped to think about it, I realized that my reasons for journaling were to capture the happiest moments of my life and then relive them by rereading them over and over (yes I re-read my journals like a crazy person). Nine years ago my life changed so drastically that every moment was golden, and I no longer felt the pressing need to preserve them on pages because they were so numerous and daily and never stopped. 

That's what marriage to TJ Greer has been like, for nine years. A growing, strong, beautiful thing that puts down deeper roots and reaches up to the sky with every passing moment. I am reminded of a thousand year old oak tree, and we have 991 years to go. Our relationship has matured from young, passionate love, to the kind of love that has permeated every molecule of our beings and our very existence is wrapped up in each other, while at the same time maintaining a balance of healthy individuality. As TJ so eloquently put it, "Everyone knows we belong to each other."

Nine years, or seven years depending on where you get your information, is the current statistic on the average length of the American marriage. This is a sad exposé on the state of society, where selfishness is upheld as a virtue and sacrifice is criticized as unhealthy. The example that millennials have set for Gen Z and Gen Alpha is, frankly, heartbreaking. Family is thought of as a burden, not a blessing. This needs to be turned around, and I have great hope for my children and for the diminishing voices of reason and responsibility around us. We need to be a shining light of positivity, and speak truth and life from the heart every chance we get.

Nine years seems like a long time. But when you're married to your best friend, like I am, it's like a blip on the radar. I look back on everything we've been through together, and the tapestry of life we have woven is beautiful to behold. We sat in the restaurant for hours, reminiscing on the past and planning the future together. TJ still makes me laugh, every day. He brings me so much joy, and is expert at listening and helping me untangle my thoughts. For anyone who is considering marriage, equal vision is the most important thing of all. More important than "compatibility", religion, spark, or anything else deemed necessary for a healthy marriage, equal vision determines the course of your relationship. You must want the same things in life, and the rest of it is simply details. 

To TJ

The moment you first smiled at me

And my heart did a double take

I knew somewhere deep inside

You were my true soul-mate.

Time passed on, and you found me

You made me all your own

The happiness I have with you

I couldn’t have guessed or known.

We’ve been together for so long

And yet so little time

I hope and dream with you again

You are my friend, my kind.

My love for you is deep and strong

As wind and wave and sea

As high as mountains, wide as space

We’re united, you and me.

A mighty oak from acorns grows,

And tempests makes it grander

Our hearts from small beginnings flowed

And trials made us stronger.

Two rivers run together deep

And cannot be separated

Our lives entwined nine years ago

Molecules integrated.

You make me laugh, and love, and ponder

How lucky I must be

To have found a friend like you

Forever in harmony!

Jenna Greer

January 2024