To My Mother

I wanted you to love me, but you never said you did

I longed for you to touch me, but your hands brought pain instead

I would run into  your arms, but they were always closed

I hoped you would be there for me, but you never showed.

I would tell you all my secrets, but you never cared

Except to cause me heartache, so I learned to never share.

I kept hoping you would realize how much you meant to me

But you stubbornly refused to listen, look or see.

I have many happy memories, but they are tinged with sad

And ruined by the pain of wanting to be glad.

I always looked and waited to see the good in you

The hope is fading with the years, which are becoming few.

Time is passing quickly, and I no longer wait

I live my life without you, which seems to be my fate.

Every time I try to speak to you, you shut me out again

I’m learning that I’ll be okay without you as my friend.

Someday when you are gone, I know that I’ll be sad

But I won’t know how to feel the loss of what I never had.

The pain you cause is healing, but always leaves a scar,

I miss what could have been, and grieve for what you are.

Your daughter,

Jenna