Nine Years

 

I did not post a blog entry last week, for the most excellent reason that I simply forgot. We celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary that weekend, and the romantical festivities chased most other thoughts out of my head. I used to journal extensively and aggressively, and have over a thousand pages of journals saved up in my hard drive. But I noticed that when I got married, I lost my motivation for journaling. When I stopped to think about it, I realized that my reasons for journaling were to capture the happiest moments of my life and then relive them by rereading them over and over (yes I re-read my journals like a crazy person). Nine years ago my life changed so drastically that every moment was golden, and I no longer felt the pressing need to preserve them on pages because they were so numerous and daily and never stopped. 

That's what marriage to TJ Greer has been like, for nine years. A growing, strong, beautiful thing that puts down deeper roots and reaches up to the sky with every passing moment. I am reminded of a thousand year old oak tree, and we have 991 years to go. Our relationship has matured from young, passionate love, to the kind of love that has permeated every molecule of our beings and our very existence is wrapped up in each other, while at the same time maintaining a balance of healthy individuality. As TJ so eloquently put it, "Everyone knows we belong to each other."

Nine years, or seven years depending on where you get your information, is the current statistic on the average length of the American marriage. This is a sad exposé on the state of society, where selfishness is upheld as a virtue and sacrifice is criticized as unhealthy. The example that millennials have set for Gen Z and Gen Alpha is, frankly, heartbreaking. Family is thought of as a burden, not a blessing. This needs to be turned around, and I have great hope for my children and for the diminishing voices of reason and responsibility around us. We need to be a shining light of positivity, and speak truth and life from the heart every chance we get.

Nine years seems like a long time. But when you're married to your best friend, like I am, it's like a blip on the radar. I look back on everything we've been through together, and the tapestry of life we have woven is beautiful to behold. We sat in the restaurant for hours, reminiscing on the past and planning the future together. TJ still makes me laugh, every day. He brings me so much joy, and is expert at listening and helping me untangle my thoughts. For anyone who is considering marriage, equal vision is the most important thing of all. More important than "compatibility", religion, spark, or anything else deemed necessary for a healthy marriage, equal vision determines the course of your relationship. You must want the same things in life, and the rest of it is simply details. 

To TJ

The moment you first smiled at me

And my heart did a double take

I knew somewhere deep inside

You were my true soul-mate.

Time passed on, and you found me

You made me all your own

The happiness I have with you

I couldn’t have guessed or known.

We’ve been together for so long

And yet so little time

I hope and dream with you again

You are my friend, my kind.

My love for you is deep and strong

As wind and wave and sea

As high as mountains, wide as space

We’re united, you and me.

A mighty oak from acorns grows,

And tempests makes it grander

Our hearts from small beginnings flowed

And trials made us stronger.

Two rivers run together deep

And cannot be separated

Our lives entwined nine years ago

Molecules integrated.

You make me laugh, and love, and ponder

How lucky I must be

To have found a friend like you

Forever in harmony!

Jenna Greer

January 2024

Vignettes of Life

 

2024 sneaked up on us with not much warning and very little drama. The year was ushered into the Greer household with Godzilla movies, white Russians and strawberry daiquiris (for the adults). I do not like New Year's resolutions. If a change needs to be made, you should make it now and not wait for an arbitrary time to improve your life. However, I love fresh starts and new beginnings. I love coming up with new ways to organize my life, inventing better ways to store my receipts and meal plan for example. Little things have always made me happy.

Last week I was running some errands and doing some shopping, and the kids were behaving like absolute angels until we got to the bread section at Trader Joe's when all hell broke loose. Some kind of gluten demon must have been lurking among the loaves, because suddenly all three kiddos were screaming at each other at the same time. I felt the judgmental stares of other shoppers (the store was packed of course) drilling into my unfortunate back as I frantically tried to quietly quieten my offspring as calmly and quietly as possible. I noticed an older lady watching us as I threatened confiscation of all the good things in life if they didn't stop the obscene caterwauling this instant. She came up behind me, and gave me a warm hug, and her kind words cut clearly through the chaos: "Before you know it, they'll be 30. You got this!"

All my children are good singers. Lately Oliver has been making up his own songs, and he has perfect pitch. My favorite thing is when he hugs my neck and croons "I love my mommy, you're the best. You're my best friend in the whole wide world!" Lizzy's songs are usually about Jesus and rainbows.

8 year old Bella is way too bright and asks questions I have to stop and think about. The other day she was marveling at how our female bodies already hold all the eggs our future children will grow from. This morning as I was cooking breakfast before church, she comes up to me and asks earnestly "Mommy, where are the eggs in my body?" I had to stop and realize she didn't mean the type of eggs that were sizzling in the pan, and then I explained about ovaries and uteruses. She exclaimed "Gross!" and walked away. Ha ha.

The weather has been a blast from the Ice Age past lately. I took the children on a hike last week and we made it a quarter mile down the trail with the girls asking to stop and play in the (iced-over) creek and Oliver wanting, boy-like, to pee in the snow every few yards. We finally made our furthest stop at a waterfall decorated with gorgeous icicles and pinnacles of ice building and falling over each other, water frozen solid in it's frantic haste to tumble over the small cliff. Lizzy was bitterly disappointed that I hadn't had the forethought to pack swim suits, so they couldn't go swimming. 

This morning at church after the service, I realized I had forgotten to return my lanyard to my classroom after teaching. I popped back in to hang it up on the hook, and noticed my classroom wasn't empty. Three teenagers were sitting at a table reading the Bible out loud to each other. In most of the churches we've attended, the teens would form unholy gangs in the back (or front) of the church avoiding worship and not at all interested in spiritual things. This little scene made my heart so happy. We have finally found a home with the International Anglican Church here in Colorado Springs!

One of my fresh starts and new leaves I'm turning is the attempt to follow through with my writing. I want to start slow with writing a blog post (no matter how short) every Sunday evening and publishing it Monday mornings. I'm stating it here and hopefully I'll show some follow through!

2024 will be the best year yet.