The Bug Bit Me Again

   

This is me (on the far right) and my family at the time I began my first journal. September 1997

      It bit me again.  The journaling bug bit me.  It has been a couple years since I have written anything but my birth stories.   I used to journal extensively--I have over a thousand pages of single spaced, typewritten pages of personal odds and ends, thoughts and feelings that I wrote down, ever since I was ten years old.  It used to be my escape, my way to vent--pouring out my feelings onto a page that wouldn't judge or punish me.  Then of course, going back a few months or a new crush later, being embarrassed by what I wrote, and cutting or deleting ruthlessly.  Now I regret most of said deleting.  Once you get to a certain age, you can smile in rueful amusement at the calamities and immaturity of youth, and appreciate how  much you've changed and grown! Another reason I regret my liberal use of the whiteout  marker is because my biggest teenage crush of all time is now my husband, and it would be simply delightful to go back and read the silly things I wrote about him back then!    Thankfully I didn't delete all of it. 😜

     Now, with my youngest daughter sweetly smiling and cooing at me from her bouncer, I am struck by how quickly these past two years have flown.  So many precious moments will be lost if I don't record them somehow!  And the pictures and videos from my ever present smartphone and cameras just aren't enough.  For example: yesterday morning my oldest daughter, 18 month old Isabella who is barely learning to talk, asked me for some orange juice.  After filling her cup, I absentmindedly started putting the wrong lid back onto the orange juice container.  She noticed and exclaimed in her little baby voice, "Uh oh! Uh oh!"
      I quickly replaced the correct lid on the container, whereupon she said in a satisfied tone, "Dere!" (There).
    Oh be still my heart, my sweet child--you are so small, and yet so smart!

     I share on Facebook, but that still isn't enough.  Facebook is too public for most personal sharing.   If one of my Facebook friends is offended by something I post, I can understand because it is an in-your-face format.  But if you find my personal journal online and are offended by the contents, then I'm sorry.  This is my journey, and I welcome you to join me and message me with an open mind for discussion.  But remember, it IS my journal, and I am learning and growing as fast as I can, so please be patient with me!

     It is a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, the first hot day of the year here in Bakersfield, California.  Bella is sleeping, and little Elizabeth is determined not to let her mommy write any more today.  All right, tiny human, you get your wish!

This is my family now. April 2017, 20 years later.
Miranda Nichole Photography

This is my family from the first picture, 20 years later.
Miriam (wasn't born yet!), Mom, Dad, Andrea (the newborn!) and Leah (wasn't born yet!)
Heidi, Katie, and Rebekah live out of state, and Nathan passed away.