Safely Home

My little climber!  We can't leave ladders
standing or this happens.

 Home is supposed to be a safe place to be at all times.  Humans are beings who are quite vulnerable to the elements, and require more protection than any other creature on earth.  We are extremely easy to damage, and would die off the face of the planet if God hadn't given us the brains to invent ways to protect ourselves!  Throughout history, whether as cave men  or kings in palaces, homo sapiens feels the great need to build himself a hideout where he can sleep soundly at night and take refuge during the day.  Wherever he goes and whatever dangers he faces, he physically and psychologically needs a safe place in which to rest and refurbish himself for the following day.  When a disaster strikes and a person loses this hiding place, it is a devastating loss.  And this special place is called Home.

One of the saddest and most terrifying things a person can possibly experience is not to feel safe in their own home.  Whether the locks on the doors and windows aren't properly installed and secured, whether one lives in an unsafe neighborhood, or whether one's family, acquaintances, or exes are being threatening, it is a horrible experience and one that can scar a person psychologically for life.

I have  been pondering the importance of safety in the home ever since my two year old and one year old set the house on fire a week or so ago.  While the house is under construction, we've had to use open flame gas heaters, and the girls normally respect and stay away from them.  Elizabeth very quickly learned the word "Hot!", and Isabella is quite savvy where fire is concerned.  I allowed her to slightly burn the end of her tiny little finger when she was very small (I cried more than she did!) and ever since then she has treated fire with a good deal of respect.  But you never know when the little pyromaniacs will throw caution to the wind and dabble in scientific experiments!

Bedtime stories

I stepped out of the living room into the kitchen and was gone for about thirty seconds when I heard Lizzy yell as if she was hurt.  I ran back into the living room and lo and behold, she had stuck a piece of plastic into the heater, and carried it around dripping burning plastic.  There were six or eight little fires burning on the wooden floor, and she yelled because the fire had reached her fingers and she had dropped the plastic.  I didn't stop to realize all of this, I sprang into action and stomped out the little fires almost before they had time to smoke.  Bella was standing there watching all of this philosophically, as if she was thinking "yeah little sis you'll find out the hard way that fire isn't to be messed with!"  Nobody was hurt.  And the girls have been very good about staying away from the fire since then.  But this mama's heart was terrified at what could have happened, and I haven't wanted to leave them alone for a moment unless the gas heater is turned off!  I'm very thankful for our electric space heaters that are much safer.

Growing up I don't remember ever feeling physically unsafe at home.  Emotional safety was another matter altogether.  Because of the gestapo-like atmosphere that was created by the way we were encouraged to inform on each other and get each other into trouble, I quickly learned not to confide in my siblings.  We all lived on tiptoe, and grew very sneaky very fast.  I remember wishing I could be best friends with my sisters, and wishing I could talk to my parents about the normal issues every kid faces in life.  But when my confidences were either punished, or used as blackmail against me, I quickly learned to keep my mouth shut.  We never learned how to resolve conflicts between each other, and eventually began reaching out to those outside our immediate family for friendship and consolation.  Being homeschooled in the isolated way that we were limited my options, and I developed multiple pen pal friendships over time.  One of my pen-friends still writes hand written letters to me, which is special in this day and age of electronic devices!

Lizzy helps Daddy install new cabinets.

I hope and pray  that my children and my husband will always feel safe at home.  Proverbs 31:11 says that a husband's heart safely trusts in his virtuous wife, and that he will lack nothing of value.  It would break my heart if my babies learned to fear me in the same way I feared those in authority over me growing up!  I want to make sure they know they can always confide in me, and that I am here to help and guide them, not punish them.  Correction is not punishment, it is the way we learn and grow.  If children are not corrected while they're small, they will be corrected someday by a police officer, a judge, and a prison guard.

So far my girls seem to feel pretty safe at home.  We try not to have too many rules, and to consistently enforce the rules we do have.  After all, stuff is replaceable, while children are not.  They aren't allowed to stick things in the fire and pull them out, for example.