Our Story Part 3

Fast forward four years to May of 2012.  I had seen T.J. at quite a few weddings (we know all of the same people), and every time I resolutely squashed any residual feelings I might have had for him.  In February of that year I had met and started corresponding with a young man who was interested in me, and this helped a lot.  I finally felt I had gained victory over those stubborn T.J. feelings and moved on with my life.  May 5th my family and I attended yet another wedding of a mutual friend, and we gave T.J. a ride there (for some reason the rest of the Greers couldn’t attend).  

One of my sisters snapped this picture of us at the wedding
sitting up on the wall and talking.

I  didn’t talk to him until the reception, when he caught me and engulfed me in a long hug.  It was the first time he hugged me.   “Admit it, you missed me!” he joked.  I was thoroughly annoyed, but underestimated my fortress of reserve which immediately crumbled under the overwhelming onslaught of T.J. charm, and we talked nonstop the rest of the night.  I even have a picture one of my sisters sneaked of us sitting on a cinder block wall in our friend’s backyard where the reception was held, talking up a storm.  He brought me soft serve ice cream and we had the time of our lives, mostly talking about the people we were seeing.  He told me all about his girlfriend he was dating online, and how he planned to marry her by the end of the year.  I told him a little about the guy I was emailing with, though there wasn’t much to tell and I mostly just listened to TJ talk.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed talking with him, but kept consciously loyal to the other person I was interested in and was able to keep any romantic feelings at bay.  We attended four weddings that year, and two of them had dancing.  I remember purposely leaving early at those two weddings because I was afraid TJ would ask me to dance, and I knew if he did I wouldn’t be able to say no.  I also remember at one of those weddings my best friend told me that T.J. arm wrestled her husband and she thought her husband would win, because he was older and a farm boy, and she was amazed at how easily T.J. won.  I felt a girlish glow of satisfaction and enjoyment at his display of strength (wink, wink!)

The next two years were turbulent and stretched and grew me up in so many ways.  I traveled a great deal, meeting other people, volunteering both in ministry and politics, and soaking in everything I could about the world in which I lived.

I learned that romance is a good thing given to us by God, and He wants us to take the risk of loving others even if they hurt us.  I learned that perfect love casts out fear.  I learned that if I loved someone and it didn’t “work out,” it was not only okay, it was a good thing--it grew a person up and matured them, and taught them about relationships.  One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves 

I had been taught that loving someone who is not married to you was a form of unfaithfulness to my future spouse, and that no one wants an “opened package,” a “spoiled dinner,” “damaged goods.”  That if I allowed myself to have feelings for anyone, I was “defrauding” or cheating them, and giving away a piece of my heart I could never get back, ending up with a scarred heart. 

I learned that God is a God of redemption and forgiveness, and a God of love and mercy.  He wants us to love all men, and gave us the hormones that lead to attraction on purpose so the human race wouldn’t die off the face of the planet.  If we make mistakes in our love lives, God is all about forgiveness and restoration.  The blood of Jesus Christ wipes the slate clean--there is no more guilt, it’s GONE.  I remember what freedom I felt once I realized that truth!  First, that having feelings for someone is not a sin, and secondly if a relationship doesn’t work out, I’m not damaged goods at all. 

Armed with this new realization and information, I decided to take the plunge and ask the young man I was interested in if he intended to pursue our relationship beyond friendship.  He responded positively, and answered that he liked me very much but wanted to finish school before starting anything serious.  I was content to wait, and continued to write to him and see him once or twice a year. I didn’t put two and two together at the time that I was carrying the friendship 95% of the time, and that not once did he ever travel to see me or my family, or put any visible effort into our relationship.  I was so lonely and ready to settle down, and thought this could be it--he could be The One.

Then, without word or warning, he froze me out.  I didn’t hear a single word from him for eleven long months, and finally faced the fact that he couldn’t possibly be interested in me.  And I realized I was okay with that.

I started going to a new church (Living Grace Bible Church in Bakersfield), joined a martial arts class, and almost moved to South Carolina when a good friend offered me a job out there.  All this time I hadn’t spared a thought for T.J.; I figured I’d see his wedding announcement on Facebook or something of that sort.  I kept hoping that maybe my young man might miraculously come back to me, but knew I needed to stop sniveling at the altar of romance and that if he wanted me, he knew my phone number. 

I focused on my life and  threw myself into work, my new friends, martial arts, my new church, and spending time with my family.  It felt so good to be almost entirely free of boy problems, and I tried to smother my loneliness with a social life that involved going to the movies with sisters and friends, and trips with my cousin, my friends, and my sisters to the coast to go kayaking and sailing.

It was a sweltering hot Sunday in Bakersfield, July of 2014 and my cell phone rang.  I immediately recognized the number and my heart did a somersault.  What does T.J. Greer want?!  I thought to myself as I answered nervously. 

“Hello there!” a familiar voice said cheerfully.  We chatted for a minute, catching up on old times, and then he dropped a bombshell on me.  “Did you know I moved out and live in Porterville now?” he asked. 

What the heck?!!!!! That moment in time was frozen as my mind raced, instantly comprehending the possibilities.  I realized in that second that I was no longer talking with a boy, I was speaking to a man, who had made a man’s decision to start his own life and his own family, and that realization crashed into my mind with the intensity of an explosion.  Perhaps, perhaps T.J. was marriage material after all! He asked if I would meet him at the local Black Angus restaurant, but I couldn’t handle that much emotion all at once, and was far too nervous of something that sounded an awful lot like a date  (he informed me in the same conversation that his girlfriend just broke up with him a couple months before.) I politely declined, and we chatted a bit and then hung up.

T.J. is a very persistent fellow, however.  One week later he called again.  “I am on my way back through Bakersfield,” he said.  “Is there any way we could meet up somewhere?”  I happened to be hanging out at a good friend’s house, and I figured it would be “safe” to invite him there, as I knew my friends were very sociable and liked having people over all the time, and it meant I wouldn’t have to be alone with T.J. 

He arrived late because of traffic delays, and I had to talk him into my friend’s driveway because they live out in the countryside and directions were a bit confusing. 

I will never forget how I felt standing on the balcony of that two story house, watching my friend T.J.’s red Jeep with a mattress tied on top slowly making it’s way up their long gravel driveway between the eucalyptus trees.   (T.J. has always been a careful driver!)  He parked and got out of his Jeep as I came down the long flight of stairs from the balcony.

It was a Romeo and Juliet moment.  His eyes lit up with happiness and recognition, and then bugged out in awe as he saw me descending that stone stairway in Daisy Dukes and a red American flag tank top.  As he told me later, “I had never seen your legs before!!”

He caught me up in a giant hug, and I introduced him to my friends.  He easily fit into my social circle, laughing and talking and praising my friend’s cooking, and was game for whatever we wanted to do that evening. 

I was extremely nervous, and trying without success to stuff this new T.J. back into the mental box he had always stayed in before.  We all decided to go over to another friend’s house to eat ice cream and cookies and watch BBC’s latest episode of Sherlock starring Benedict Cumberbatch.   TJ made himself right at home, settling on the sofa, eating ice cream, and talking nonstop.  I avoided sitting too near him and was being as coy as possible.  At one point he casually called out across the room, “I love you Jenna!” which embarrassed me extremely.  I did not want anyone to think we were an item, and yet despite my efforts that night one of my younger friends teased me:

“Are you going to marry T.J., Jenna?” 

“Certainly not,” was my instantaneous and defensive response.  Ha!

I walked him out to his car when he left, resisting with all my might the magic of that warm, moonlit summer evening.  He hugged me and said good-bye, leaving me to deal with a host of new and old emotions!

Three days later it was my birthday, and TJ had promised to drive the hour from Bakersfield to Porterville for my birthday party.  I was hoping he’d come, and praying he wouldn’t.  It was a really long drive for him, and I’d feel obligated to be nice to him if he drove two hours just for my birthday!  I was in an agony of nervousness, but he didn’t show up, and I was both relieved and disappointed.

My old flame called me for my birthday though, and sent me a gift.  It had been eleven months since I’d heard a peep from him, and I was transported into the seventh heaven with renewed hope on that score.  I sound needy and desperate, because I was!  I still had lots to learn.

I figured that I could be mature about this.  I had lots of guy friends now, and knew how to handle the male half of the human race, or so I thought.  I texted back and forth with T.J., solving the world’s problems.  There were even several long phone calls; I remember talking to him for an hour lying prone under my friend’s desk, because my phone was almost dead and that’s where the charger was!  He was so sympathetic and smart and easy to talk to.

One month later my Mom, sisters, and I all planned to attend a bridal shower in Porterville for some mutual friends who would be married soon.  I made plans with T.J. to drive up the mountains after the shower to where some more mutual friends were camping, for campfire time and just for the heck of it.  I have an adventurous side that enjoyed toying a little with danger, and was very confused and emotional about everything.  I did a lot of extra praying in those days!

I met him at his tiny apartment on  “B” street, and he proudly showed me around the two rooms that he called home.  There was a combination living room/kitchen and a large bedroom with a bathroom leading off of it.  I had asked one of my sisters to come with me, because I was nervous about meeting a young man alone at his apartment.  She wasn’t much help, funnily enough!  The place was the size of a postage stamp, but not small enough to prevent Andrea from making herself scarce, grinning knowingly in a way that was irritating because of what it implied.   I helped T.J. unload tools out of his Jeep to make room for passengers, and he made coffee for us while describing in plaintive tones what a lonely life he led, all alone without a wife.  I covered my confusion at how matter-of-factly he said this by scoffing at the idea of being lonely, and bragging that I was perfectly happy with  my singlehood.  Ha!

We had a great time on our two hour drive up the mountains, and then two hours back again.  Andrea pretended to be asleep in the backseat the whole way.  T.J. talked non stop about everything--mostly theology.  I did not like the way he had grown up and passed me in maturity and outlook on life--it just wasn’t fair!  And if possible he had grown even handsomer and sexier, his rough edges had matured and softened, and every little thing that had annoyed me about him before had entirely disappeared.  And that annoyed me.

At Balch Park Campground we had a wonderful time with our friends, going on a hike, playing guitars and singing around the campfire.  Afterwards I learned that our friend took T.J. aside and asked him if he would reconsider pursuing me as a wife, and TJ was like “I’m on it!  Don’t worry about it.” 😁  He told me later that he had decided I was the one for him from the first moment he saw me coming down from the balcony at my friend’s house. 

After arriving safely, very tired and very late, at TJ’s apartment (Andrea asleep in the backseat the whole way), the three of us walked down to the corner gas station and TJ bought us drinks for the way home.  I remember he recommended a strawberry tea drink, whereupon I purposely chose something else just because I was still being a little brat and trying to push him away.  I was like a moth irresistibly drawn to the flame and then saying “ouch” when I touched it!

About a week later, out of the blue I decided to call TJ’s older brother Ben on the phone.  I hadn’t talked with him in probably five years or so, and TJ told me Ben was courting Stephanie, another mutual friend of ours.  I always liked Ben and it was nice to talk with him and catch up on his life.  He told me that T.J. was planning a trip up to Lake Isabella to visit Stephanie and her family while Ben was there, but his car broke down again and he wouldn’t make it unless he had a ride.  I took the hint and suggested driving T.J. up in my car.  Ben liked the suggestion immensely, and of course T.J. did too--so it was agreed.  Little did I know that decision would change my life forever!

One warm, sultry week in September ended up being the hardest and wildest emotional roller coaster seven days ride I have ever lived in my life! 

The week started out ordinarily enough, until Thursday afternoon.  Remember my old flame?  His brother called me up and asked me to volunteer for another project like I had done in the past, and told me that his family had made the condition that I must never be alone with said old flame while I was there.  This audacity and lack of trust on their part infuriated me to the last degree.  Not because I wanted to be alone with him anymore, I was simply extremely offended that they would make a request like that.  I should have simply and flatly refused, but I was a pushover back then and hadn’t grown a backbone yet.  Plus I still clung to a small hope that the relationship might still work out after all.  So I called Old Flame and asked him a question whose answer I should have insisted upon long, long ago:  “ARE YOU or are you not interested in me?!!” 

“No,” he replied. “I am no longer interested and please don’t think about it any more.” 

All the hopes and dreams I’d hoped and dreamed for three years came crashing down about my ears, and I cried my eyes out for a few hours.  I had already moved on with my life and it wasn’t  actually the end of the world, but it sure felt like it in the moment!  It was very freeing though to finally have an answer.  I didn’t feel like I could seriously consider anyone else while I still had this old relationship hanging on, and although it hurt so much yet it felt good to sever that tie forever.  I felt foolish for wasting three years of my emotional time on someone who wasn’t even interested in dating me, much less marriage!

Saturday morning thirty hours later found me in my car headed up to the mountains again with T.J. Greer, this time with no chaperone aboard.  We talked non stop the whole two hour drive, and finally  arrived at Stephanie's house.

That’s when things got really interesting.  T.J. and I hung out with Stephanie’s older sister Carly and her mother while Ben and Steph made googly eyes at each other, and I teased Carly and T.J. relentlessly. 

The three of us decided to take a walk down the creek near their house, forgetting what a hot day it was.  We wandered down the driveway and were soon greeted by a blast of hot air from the rocky, dry, weedy creek bed in front of us.  Jumping from rock to rock, joking and laughing and having a general good time, I remember secretly wishing Carly wasn’t with us and that I could have T.J. to myself. 

It was as if Cupid had heard my unspoken request and shot an arrow at us.  “You go on without me,” said Carly. “I want to rest!”

T.J. and I leaped from rock to rock, threading our way between thorny dry bushes and keeping a sharp lookout for snakes.  We slid down the biggest ones, and I lagged a little on purpose just so he’d turn around and help me up the steep parts.  The heat pressed in on all sides like an oven and shimmered up from the sand along the river bed.  The sweat trickled down my back and I heartily wished I’d brought a water bottle.  The creek bed grew choked up with bushes and we didn’t feel like pushing our way through them, and climbed up the steep bank to the road again.  I tied my shirt into a knot to let the breeze cool my midriff, completely oblivious to the fact that most men find small waists attractive.  Poor T.J.!  He was used to seeing me in ankle length denim and calico skirts and dresses which completely concealed my figure, and wasn’t prepared for the sight of my shapely midriff.  I was only thinking of how hot I was feeling and wanting to cool off, and am also slightly claustrophobic.  I was at peak physical condition at the time and I don’t mind admitting I wasn’t hard on the eyes.  Poor T.J. didn’t know where to look!  I wish now that I’d known a little more about those things back then, and hadn’t simply been taught legalistic rules without the reason behind them; at the same time I did end up marrying the guy!

We walked back up the road to the house together, and it felt so right and good.  T.J. is such a comfortable person to be around!  I began seriously entertaining the idea that I wouldn’t mind walking up the road beside him forever.

I was having such a good time that this was the one of the only
pictures I took of this epic Saturday!

That evening Ben took his sweetheart Stephanie, her sister Carly, T.J.and me to a nearby tiny
town on what could roughly be called a date.  We ate pizza and walked down by the river, and saw a movie in the tiny one screen theatre.  It was very funny because it was the corniest tornado movie in existence, and I got a little scared--which amused T.J. immensely!  There was so much electricity in the air from us two couples and Carly playing third wheel trying to make sure nothing scandalous happened, that we could barely pay attention to the movie at all!  We played musical chairs, shifting seats every little while because certain people wanted to sit with certain other people.  It was hilarious!  I noticed that whatever seat I moved to, T.J. would get up to sit next to me again.  When we whispered in the dark commenting on the movie, our heads “accidentally” touched. 

Afterwards I went to the bathroom while everyone else headed out to the car, and I wondered if T.J. would stay behind and wait for me.  Sure enough, when I came out there he was, smiling and holding the door for me like gentleman.  I was touched and impressed.  It was one of those many small but significant defining moments that when added up made me realize that I wanted T.J. Greer to ask me out!

Back at Stephanie’s parents’ house up in the mountains, the five of us climbed up on a huge flat topped rock in their backyard to stargaze.  It was a glorious warm night, and with no city lights to compete the stars were spectacular!  I will admit that we didn’t pay very much attention to them though.  Ben and Stephanie were surreptitiously holding hands in the dark, and T.J. and me were covering for them and trying to distract Carly so she wouldn’t notice.  T.J. kept scootching closer to me in the dark, and I kept scootching away from him as far as I could get without falling off the rock.  I was enjoying the evening very much and at the same time realizing that I was on the brink of making the most important decision of my life.  Did I, or did I not want to marry T.J. Greer?  I don’t know what I would have done if he’d tried to hold my hand or something!  The electricity between us could literally be felt.

  I drove home in the dark alone (T.J. caught a ride back with his brother in the morning).  I couldn’t sleep a wink all night.  I prayed with all my might that the Lord Jesus would give me peace and direction!  I was worried to death that I might be on a rebound and affected by lingering feelings for Old Flame, but at the same time I realized that the lingering feelings helped clarify things for me and helped me see facts more objectively than if I was completely head over heels for T.J. alone.  I could make a rational decision based upon the fact that T.J. was a mature, godly, amazing person, and not just on the fact that he’s incredibly hot!

When Sunday morning dawned I had made the decision in my heart that yes, I could marry T.J. Greer.  Now how on earth was I going to let him know?!  Not only had I said no to him six years before, I also recently informed him again that I was only interested in friendship, and kept sending him mixed signals every time I saw him.  The poor guy deserved a straight up answer to The Question!

That morning in church I barely heard the sermon.  Afterwards my friends and sister and I all went out to eat at Chipotle, and while I was in line to get my food T.J. called.  He asked me if I would like to have sushi for lunch with him and Ben.  I enthusiastically agreed, and left Chipotle as soon as possible.  I had a slight scheduling problem because I was in charge of irrigation at the farm half an hour away where I worked, and was supposed to shut off a pump at 1 p.m.  I raced madly home, shut off the pump, and raced back to Bakersfield--where Ben and T.J. had been waiting for me at Love Sushi for forty minutes.  I was so touched that they would actually wait!  T.J. and I sat together in the booth, and he accuses me of being all snuggly or whatever, while I remember he was the one who kept putting his arm around me and acting like I was his girlfriend!  The three of us talked and laughed nonstop and I enjoyed my first experience of sushi.  My family is a Taco Bell and In ‘n’ Out family, and I’d never had sushi before.

Afterwards the three of us squeezed onto the bench outside and talked some more.  I had to give T.J. a ride home and invited him to spend the rest of the day with me while  Ben left for San Diego.  T.J. and I went grocery shopping, and I had a Perspectives missions class to attend in the evening.  While we waited for class to start we flopped on our bellies in the grass in a park and talked some more.  I was desperately trying to summon the courage to tell him that if he was still interested, I wouldn’t say no this time.  I couldn’t say it though!  It was too hard.  We went into class together and someone asked me if he was my boyfriend.  Little did I know that was the last time I would say no to that question!

I didn’t tell him at the park.  I didn’t tell him on the drive home to Porterville.  I couldn’t!  Next morning I was in an agony of not knowing what to do.  Finally I decided to make use of that personal, yet safe and impersonal device--the telephone.  I called T.J. at work and stammered out the words, “If you are still interested, I want you to know I won’t say no!” 

“Thanks for telling me,” he responded.  I didn’t know that he had a plan all along, and was intending to ask me out and woo me into liking him in two weeks when I came back from my trip to Oregon!  My phone call gave him the go ahead though, and he is not a man who wastes time.

About a minute later I received a text from T.J.  “Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?” it read.  Would I!

Because of scheduling issues our date was postponed till Wednesday.  T.J. had  a bluetooth headset so he could talk while at work on his construction job, and we talked 4-5 hours each day leading up to our date.  It was like a dam had burst, and all the hopes and dreams and plans we both had in life came spilling out together into one glorious river that sang harmoniously with joy and peace.  We literally thought alike and had the same tastes in everything.  I was alternately blessed and astounded by T.J.’s depth of thought and maturity, and how the difficult experiences he’d gone through recently had not embittered him, but molded him into a strong decision maker and an even more tender hearted person than he was before.  I loved his heart and his amazing sense of humor, and kicked myself a hundred times for dragging my feet and not marrying him years before!  At the same time I felt no regret and knew that the experiences both he and I had meantime had grown us up into the people we were today, and that God’s timing is always perfect.  My heart hadn’t figured out how to be in love, so I wasn’t quite in love yet.  But I was falling fast! 

Wednesday we were so giddy and anxious to see each other again that I called my boss and asked for half a day off work, and T.J.’s car conveniently broke down yet again.  (For reals--that car was a piece of crap!)  I remember how I wanted to look beautiful and perfect for my first date ever, but at the same time I couldn't wait to see him!  I brought my date night dress along for the evening but wore jeans and my favorite green shirt when I drove to his house that hot afternoon.  Never had an hour crawled by so slowly in all my life before, and never had there been so many stop lights in the world that all turned red!  I was driving to see the person I planned to marry, and my beating little heart could hardly contain the emotions swirling inside.  My family knew and were very excited and happy for me, and T.J.’s family had called to congratulate me and give their blessing.

I will stop to comment here that it seems like in every romance I’ve ever seen on TV or read in a book, the girl involved goes through periods of intense self doubt and wondering if so and so was “the one” or not, or praying for weeks on end uncertain of God’s will.  I honestly never experienced this with T.J. Greer.  After my talk with God after our visit Saturday night and coming to my decision, I never even felt like looking back for a moment.  It was the hardest and yet easiest decision I’ve ever made in my life, and the peace in my soul was a solid rock that never shifted in the slightest.  Thomas Jonathan Greer was the man for me, and nothing on earth could shake that conviction in my heart!  In other words, the hunt was over.  All I had to do was hogtie my man to the hood of my truck and bring him home.

I pulled to the curb on “B” street in Porterville, trembling and weak kneed from excitement!  After the hours we’d spent on the phone it was a shock to the system to see him again and for the first time in a romantic light--allowing myself to release seven years’ worth of feelings and emotions attached to this person.  He met me at the door, we smiled into each other’s eyes, and I fell into his arms.  I was home, and would never again feel alone, unloved, or unsafe.

That afternoon was surreal.  We ran some errands in town, and he drove my car.  We awkwardly tried holding hands, and almost crashed a few times because we kept looking at each other instead of the road!  At Radioshack T.J. bought me a headset just like his so we could talk to each other hands free all day long.  What a glorious thing technology is!  We walked around downtown a bit, and got the hang of this holding hands thing.  That evening T.J. took me to a little Chinese restaurant--another new experience because I’d only had Chinese food once before and wasn’t a fan.  But now I was with someone who’d traveled to China several times and knew exactly what to order.  I remember we had Mongolian beef and hot and sour soup, which was amazingly delicious but we both were so nervous and excited that we couldn’t eat.  He pulled out a beautiful heart shaped necklace and asked me if I would be his girlfriend. 

Afterwards we drove to a tumbledown yellow shack T.J. thought was picturesque, set up a tripod, and took our first pictures together.

First Date!

Two days later as we walked down the lighted streets of downtown Porterville in the evening with our arms around each other, I knew I was completely in love.

Three days later we kissed for the first time.

One week later we took our first long trip together.  I had promised Old Flame’s brother that I would help him with his project and another brother of the family invited T.J. along.  That was one of the funnest and most awkward things we’ve ever done, and we created a lot of good memories right at the beginning of our relationship!  We kissed on bridges in the moonlight, at bus stops, and once in the middle of Interstate 5 just because we could.  We made new friends and were reacquainted with old.  We drove from southern Oregon to Portland on an errand, staying the night with a dear childhood friend of mine.  We were taken under the wing of a random family we met along the way who befriended us and gave us a wonderful and relaxing break after working our hinies off for ten days!  They took us to dinner and a movie, and took us to the airport in the morning.  They were the first friends we made together as a couple, and we remember them fondly and hope to see them again someday.  We flew home exhausted, having learned a whole lot about each other in a very short time!

October 24th T.J. got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, and I said “Yes!” while jumping up and down feeling like I would explode with happiness.  He gave me a ring that we had chosen together along with his parents and with the blessing of mine.  He also gave me a gorgeous red rose dipped in glass and gilded with gold, and said it represented our relationship--beautiful and lasting forever.

Thankfully both of our families thoroughly approved of our decision.  I’d always liked his family, and T.J. went out of his way to spend time with my sisters and parents and let them get to know him better.  He also came to Thanksgiving with us and spent time with my relatives.  During this time of planning for our future, T.J. decided that Bakersfield had much more potential than Porterville, and I found an apartment for us in a quaint older neighborhood and my sisters helped us move him in.    The Lord provided a job for T.J. in a matter of days.  We wanted to have our wedding as soon as possible, but the closest date that worked for everyone was January 10th. 

All of our friends and relatives pitched in to help put our wedding together.  My cousin Christina and some of my sisters came along with us wedding dress shopping.  The looks we got in the bridal boutiques!  Those dignified ladies who wanted to sell me the ugliest, most expensive, and uncomfortable dress in creation did not know what to do with T.J.  We had decided that we would ignore the wedding traditions that didn’t mean anything to us, and one of those was the rule that the groom can’t see the bride in her dress.  T.J. helped me select a dress, and then I had some dear friends make it over because it wasn’t quite what I wanted.  I could not find bridesmaid dresses in the color we wanted--David’s Bridal has every color of the rainbow except for orange, apparently--so I bought the fabric and sewed dresses for Christina and two of my sisters.

We selected the color orange because it is my Dad’s favorite color and he had teased me my entire life that my wedding will be orange someday!   He cried when we told him.  It worked out very well--one of my favorite flowers is Tiger lilies, and my mother in law is a florist and did all the flowers for us.  My own mother helped decorate for the reception and coordinate the food, and many other people pitched in.  Christina threw a lovely huge bridal shower for us at the home of the friends where we first “met” again, and it was a wonderful party!  It was overwhelming how much love and support were poured out on us.

Dressed up for a friend's wedding about four days
after our first date

Our wedding day was glorious.  Not a single thing went wrong.  The preacher we wanted wasn’t able to come, so we conducted the ceremony ourselves, and Ben introduced us for the first time as “Mr. and Mrs. T.J. Greer”!

Our first night together was spent in our little apartment, and the next day we left for a week on the coast in a gorgeous mansion that  some friends from church let us stay in.  We also went to Six Flags, and relaxed and enjoyed each other.

Eight months after the wedding our first daughter was born, six weeks premature. 

One year and five months after that our second daughter was born on Thanksgiving Day.

T.J. is the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.  We have laughed together and cried together and faced the storms of life together, and I can’t imagine doing life with anyone else.  He is consistently kind and considerate, strong as an oak tree and tender as a child.  He is faithful in God’s word, and wise in his theology.  Our girls adore him, and he is a blessing to all who know him.  On Wednesday it will be our third wedding anniversary, and I have not had one moment of regret that I married him!  I feel sorry for all the girls in the world who do not have the privilege of being married to T.J. Greer.

Greer Family

Stoeppler Family

My cousin and best friend Christina

December 2016