Elizabeth's 2nd Birthday!

Our darling Lizzy Bee turned two last Saturday.  She is a marvelous blessing to our little family!  Her big brown eyes sparkle with mischief and pure joy, and her middle name Sunshine fits her perfectly.  We are so thankful for our second Sweet-pea.  Her current interest is dinosaurs.  I am not sure how she caught the dino fever but she sure did, and lights up with enthusiasm whenever she sees a replica of her favorite reptile.  She likes to pretend she's a dinosaur as well, and chases us around with claw hands yelling "Rawrrrr!"  She calls them her 'Sores.  TJ cut her hair into a cute bob recently because it was long and tangled and an ordeal to brush it.  Lizzy gets very excited about prayer, and loves shouting "Amen! Praise Jesus!" after daily devotions.

I am looking forward to this next year with our second daughter.  May she grow strong in wisdom and favor with God and man.

World's Biggest Dinosaurs!

Happy Birthday

Exploring the canyon

Meeting her little cousin for the first time

My baby

Making her toy dinosaurs fight

Fitting in a doll bed!

Lady of fashion

All the cousins!

Hugging--or wrestling--her other cousin

Gardening with Grandma

Poor baby got sick from California air pollution

"Undisciplined" Children

Bella playing and singing a song

Well, it's been a crazy two weeks around here and elsewhere!  Last night we arrived home safe, tired, exhausted, and worn out from our first ever long "vacation."  California and it's inhabitants treated us royally, and it was great to catch up with everyone in our old stomping grounds, friends and family alike.  Stand out memories include: fresh sushi at last, oh my I forgot how much I enjoyed good sushi!!!; the best Thanksgiving dinner I've ever eaten, bar none (I need all my mother in law's recipes asap!); and our favorite pizza place.  Wow, I just realized all I seem to remember is the food! LOL.  We saw so many dear people, driving somewhere new every single day, that it all swirls into one big smorgasbord of faces.  Hopefully soon my memories will sort themselves out and I'll be able to process it all, with the aid of the many photos from the trip.

I noticed an interesting phenomenon early on in the trip that continued throughout the experience.  Whether in a positive or negative fashion, everyone always noticed our two girls (of course).  They made impressions everywhere we went, from the homeless guy 2 year old Lizzy randomly hugged to the new cousins they met and grandparents and aunts and uncles and friends.  (Again, it was overwhelming seeing so many people in such a short space of time!)  Both girls are outgoing, friendly, and life of the party personality types.  Bella tends to notice activities going on, while Lizzy notices the people.  We have encouraged both of them from infancy to explore this great big world they were born into and all that it contains, with the result that they are inquisitive, curious little beings who want to see for themselves what everything around them is made of.  This means that we dive to save glass objects and lock things out of reach on a regular basis, and also try to have as few rules as possible at our home (if we make a rule we must enforce it, thus the fewer rules the better!)

Seven days in other people's houses trying to follow other people's house rules was quite the ordeal for our little family.  The girls did a splendid job in my opinion.  Nothing of value was broken, and nobody died--a win-win in my book!  Not only were they dealing with new situations on a daily basis, but they also had to endure hours and hours strapped in car seats which of course made them even more energetic when we arrived at our destinations.  Most people were delighted with our children and loved on them and made them feel welcome.  But I heard a few comments, in more than one place, on how "undisciplined" our children are and how we need to control them better.

First of all, we are not in the business of controlling children.  We are in the business of guiding and teaching them to be good, productive citizens and well rounded, independent adults someday.  Secondly, please take a moment--all of you--and reach into the foggy recesses of your memory and try to remember what it was like to be a child.  After all, Jesus Himself said "let the little children come to me, for of such are the kingdom of Heaven!"   When did you ever sit for hours in the car, and then sedately continue to sit at a party looking pretty?!  If you did, then I am sad for you.  Children were made to run and jump, climb and explore, take things apart and experiment with the world to find what makes it spin.  Children were made to grow up and become husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, scientists and doctors and farmers.  They are much bigger, longer lasting, and more important than your small agenda.  Children are literally the future of our existence, the ones who will be future Presidents and Congressmen and Congresswomen and judges and legislators.  They will shape our future, and we will depend on them when we are old.

It was interesting to note that pretty much wherever we went, our kids were the life of the party.  We

Our Zizzy-Bug!

were at one large family gathering where there were probably 15-20 small people (seemed more like 200, they swarmed everywhere--such a blessing!).  Many of them held back and looked shy, and took a while to warm up a little.  Some of the older ones never did, and just stood in the background and didn't do or say anything.  Our two girls chattered up a storm, made friends with everyone, jumped on the trampoline enthusiastically, climbed on the farm equipment, and examined the tools in the shop.  The best part was that nobody minded!  Children were encouraged to explore and learn and grow.  It was a refreshing environment and I could actually relax and visit with people instead of chasing my children the whole time afraid they might break some valuable item.

I do not allow or appreciate brats.  Children who are "undisciplined" in the sense that they are allowed to be selfish, petty, uncaring, and cruel--use the word "spoiled" here--are not allowed in my house.  I am far more concerned with character than with cabinets.  I'd rather they break every dish and heirloom I own by accident than grow up to be mean, small, selfish adults.  My girls throw the occasional tantrum, and sometimes push each other or forget to share their toys.  But they are 2 and 3 and it takes time to teach, mold, and model proper behavior.  However they are loving, generous, sweet little people who empathize to a surprising degree, and are very concerned about the welfare of others.  That's what I'm looking for in my kids.  I'm after their hearts.  I want to shape their minds as they grow and learn from me.  It's a tremendous job, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed and inadequate.  But then Bella comes up to me randomly and says "Mommy, you're the best!"  Lizzy hugs and kisses her sister.  Bella shares her breakfast with "the baby" (as she calls Lizzy).  They both pile on TJ when he gets home from work, so glad to have their daddy home.  Lizzy impulsively hugs a homeless guy in the street.  Bella makes friends with a little boy at Makutu's Island in Phoenix and they climbed all over that glorious kid's artificial forest together.  And I feel in my bones that everything will turn out all right in the end.

Marriage is Hard?!!!

The week we started dating

I wish I had a nickel for every time someone has said, or I've read an article or book or seen a media post or heard a sermon about how difficult the marriage relationship is.  I'd be able to buy a vacation home in Hawaii if I did.  This morning we were treated to another lecture on how marriage is a sacrifice and how you shouldn't look to your spouse for fulfillment or happiness and especially not expect them to fulfill your needs.  I'm sitting here trying to type with my significant other's feet in my lap, because he wants me to be near him.  We've been together for four years, with our wedding anniversary coming up in January, and I'm scratching my head trying to think of a time, or a place, or a moment in our marriage that it was difficult.

I need to be needed, and by needing me my husband is fulfilling my needs!

Hard times?  Yes.  Difficult things happen in life?  Oh yes.  Do we disagree occasionally or maybe unintentionally hurt each other?  Yes indeed.  But is our marriage difficult?  Heck no!  It is so sweet to go through life with a person who always has your back, whose greatest interest is your pleasure.  I actually didn't expect that when I got married.  I assumed that submission and being a good wife meant fulfilling my husband's every whim and giving up everything I enjoyed in order to make him happy.  I never thought of it from the man's point of view, particularly my man's point of view.  He tells me constantly that his greatest pleasure is to make me happy, and his greatest joy is to sacrifice himself for his family--me and the girls.

I quickly had to learn a whole new perspective on marriage when I met TJ Greer.  The previous person I had been interested in was the typical patriarchal ideal of a man.  I made all the sacrifices in the relationship, and I expected to.  I was all about fulfilling his hopes and dreams, and giving up everything I enjoyed and molding myself into a different person to make him happy and keep his interest.  It was an incredibly toxic and stressful relationship, and I have learned that it's a tendency of women to be more willing to give of themselves in that way and let themselves be taken advantage of.  My husband is such a joy to serve and love and be with that I don't think of it as a sacrifice at all.  I love it!

Sometimes we both must make sacrifices to reach a common goal.  I am currently working nights, which we both hate.  I miss my babies, I miss snuggling with my husband and falling asleep with him on weeknights.  He misses me too, and it just sucks.  But it's a temporary thing that we decided together is necessary for the present.  He's made all kinds of sacrifices to provide for us.  He's worked overnight, he's worked back to back 14 hour shifts, he's gotten up at 3 a.m. for jobs, he's spent all his free time remodeling our home into a beautiful and comfortable place to live.  But it's not our marriage that's difficult--it's outside circumstances that are hard.

We've gone through a lot in four years together.  We've gone through four moves, including to another state.  We've had two children, which included the stress of pregnancy complications and an extended hospital stay. We've both worked stressful jobs with conflicting schedules.  But our marriage has never been the difficult part of life.  Our marriage is our happy place, where we go to unwind, where all is rest and peace and love.  When my husband wraps me in his strong arms and rests his chin on top of my head all worry, stress, and any other bad feelings just drain away and my soul floods with peace.  I close my eyes, and all is right with the world and everything in my life is beautiful.  Even when we have a tiff or disagreement, the passionate conversation that ensues only brings us closer together and we experience the pleasure and intimacy of resolved conflict.

No, to quote Marshall in that stupid show How I met Your Mother, "Marriage isn't hard when you're with the right person."  When your spouse is an actual partner, someone who is working with you towards  common goals, someone whose greatest happiness in life is to make your marriage good, it will be good.  Forever.

Engaged!  November 2014

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it..."

Beautiful inside and out

Did you have a childhood BFF?  A person--of either gender--who "got" you, who understood your
quirks and idiosyncrasies, who didn't question your weirdness and who appreciated you no matter what you did or said and who rolled through life's punches with you?  Are you still friends with that person to this day, or did adulthood roll between you and cause you to go your separate ways?

A Best Friend Forever is a rare jewel to find, and someone worth treasuring.

"Make new friends, but keep the old

One is silver, the other GOLD."

My BFF was diagnosed with cancer a couple months ago.  I flew back to California to see her in August, between surgery and chemotherapy.  It is hard seeing her so ill and so thin and weak!  I've been doing a lot of introspective thinking, and my mind has flooded with memories of her ever since I received the news. She is in chemotherapy as I write this, dealing with the pain and hair loss and painful tingling in her extremities and all the other side effects that come with pumping chemicals into your body in the hope that it kills the cancer before it kills you.  I wish I could be there to hold her hand and reassure her that everything will be okay.  I wish I could give her a hug.  But she can't see other humans because of the risk of contracting an illness, as her immune system is severely compromised.  All I can do is pray, and text her every day, and shop for birthday presents for her.  She's turning 30 this year, and half her life she's been dealing with this monster.

When we first met!

I have sixteen million memories with this person, my cousin, my best friend Christina Atwell.  We used to write letters when we were little, and then I became super religious and turned up my nose at her for a while.  God humbled my pride into the dust when my brother was diagnosed with cancer and passed away four months later.  Christina was there for me every step of the way, and did things for my brother that I could not because I was in a mess.  God taught me then and there how important people are, and how relationships are far more lasting and pleasing to Him than religion.  Christina and I began spending a lot of time together.  We went camping together, took a road trip across country together, and spent two summers together in Oregon helping friends with a political campaign.  We bonded there in a special way because of various difficulties we faced, and I would not have survived the stress and tension and drama of the campaign if it wasn't for her.   Her presence was calming, and her advice was good when I needed it.  One of my favorite memories was staying up until 2 in the morning laughing our heads off at the comedy show Hogan's Heroes.  She introduced me to the world of cinematic comedy, which has been my favorite genre to watch ever since.

Guest Lake Backpack Trip 2008

In 2008, we went on the longest backpack trip I've ever been on, up King's River to a lake far up in the mountains.  My dad and sisters and cousin David came along on the trip as well.  Christina and I stuck together, and spent many pleasant hours hiking the trails in the forest, picking berries to eat, talking, and stopping to rest whenever we felt like it.  We froze together swimming in mountain streams, and caught fish in the lake.  We talked about God, and boys, and hopes and plans for the future.  I don't remember ever having a fight or argument, at any time in our entire lives!

Half Dome, Yosemite

We hiked up to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite and back, in 2009.  22 miles in one day, climbing over 5,000 feet.  It was a breathtaking view at the top!  Christina never complained, and when she was desperately tired she would say in a cheerful voice, "Hey, that rock looks like a good place to sit down!"  I carried her piggyback the last quarter mile, which was fun!

Badger Pass

My first ski trip was with Christina, during which she absolutely refused to fall down even though she had never been skiing before.  I still tease her that I should have pushed her.  It's not right for a brand new skiier to go a whole day without falling over once!  No fair.

Our friend Rachelle's Wedding, 2011

Virgin River, Zion Canyon Utah

The Grand Canyon, Arizona

We've been in a number of weddings together, which was always fun.  She helped me sew ten bridesmaid dresses for one mutual friend of ours.  In fact, we've done a whole lot of sewing together. Dresses, quilts, curtains, and the like.

Christina's Birthday, 2014

A new family member!

Christina supported me 100% when I started courting TJ Greer, and was a source of encouragement and inspiration.  She came down and stayed with me the night before my wedding, and was a beautiful maid of honor.  She was so sweet and unselfish, and helped make our day perfect!  She told me a few months later that at first she liked TJ because I did, and then after spending time with us she learned to love TJ for himself, which blessed my heart so much!

Our Wedding 2015

Maid of Honor

She was there for the births of both of my children.  I treasure the photos she sneaked in the hospital where photography wasn't allowed.  She's so good at blending into the background--she's like a ninja, a secret weapon, a behind the scenes mover and shaker you never notice until it's too late!

Birth of Isabella

Birth of Elizabeth, 2016

Christina Atwell is an especially special person, and if you don't know her then you should.  She is resilient and kind, strong and sweet, and possesses a fortitude I only aspire to have someday.  It's the kind of strength that comes from walking through the fire.  It's the kind of strength that only comes from enduring unimaginable suffering, and emerging scarred but victorious.  It's the resilience of a hero, an oak tree that bends but is unbroken, a small boat in a large ocean which has ridden out and survived the wildest storm.  It's the faith of one whose faith has been tried in the refiner's fire, and come out pure gold.

 When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul!

August 2018

Elisabeth Edwards Photography

The Beauty who conquered the Beast of pain....

Happy Halloween 2018

Trick or treating was a blast this year!  We met so many nice people.  Bella went as True, her favorite character from the show True And The Rainbow Kingdom, and Lizzy was a dinosaur.  That girl sure loves dinosaurs.  A favorite game these days is to Rawrrrrr! with hands up like claws and chase you around the house.

Now what to do with all that candy!😮

Bella made cookies (I decorated them)

My sweet True!

A very sad Dinosaur

I enjoyed dressing up too.

TJ was a monk with a sword.  I think.

Happy dinosaur with candy!