Fast forward four years to May of 2012. I had seen T.J. at quite a few weddings (we
know all of the same people), and every time I resolutely squashed any residual
feelings I might have had for him. In
February of that year I had met and started corresponding with a young man who
was interested in me, and this helped a lot.
I finally felt I had gained victory over those stubborn T.J. feelings
and moved on with my life. May 5th my
family and I attended yet another wedding of a mutual friend, and we gave T.J.
a ride there (for some reason the rest of the Greers couldn’t attend).
 |
One of my sisters snapped this picture of us at the wedding
sitting up on the wall and talking. |
I didn’t talk to him until the reception,
when he caught me and engulfed me in a long hug. It was the first time he hugged me. “Admit it, you missed me!” he joked. I was thoroughly annoyed, but underestimated
my fortress of reserve which immediately
crumbled under the overwhelming onslaught of T.J. charm, and we talked nonstop
the rest of the night. I even have a
picture one of my sisters sneaked of us sitting on a cinder block wall in our
friend’s backyard where the reception was held, talking up a storm. He brought me soft serve ice cream and we had
the time of our lives, mostly talking about the people we were seeing. He told me all about his girlfriend he was
dating online, and how he planned to marry her by the end of the year. I told him a little about the guy I was
emailing with, though there wasn’t much to tell and I mostly just listened to
TJ talk. I had forgotten how much I
enjoyed talking with him, but kept consciously loyal to the other person I was
interested in and was able to keep any romantic feelings at bay. We attended four weddings that year, and two
of them had dancing. I remember
purposely leaving early at those two weddings because I was afraid TJ would ask
me to dance, and I knew if he did I wouldn’t be able to say no. I also remember at one of those weddings my
best friend told me that T.J. arm wrestled her husband and she thought her husband
would win, because he was older and a farm boy, and she was amazed at how
easily T.J. won. I felt a girlish glow
of satisfaction and enjoyment at his display of strength (wink, wink!)
The next two years were turbulent and stretched and grew me
up in so many ways. I traveled a great
deal, meeting other people, volunteering both in ministry and politics, and
soaking in everything I could about the world in which I lived.
I learned that romance is a good thing given to us by God,
and He wants us to take the risk of loving others even if they hurt us. I learned that perfect love casts out
fear. I learned that if I loved someone
and it didn’t “work out,” it was not only okay, it was a good thing--it grew a
person up and matured them, and taught them about relationships. One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis:
“To love at all is to be
vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If
you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even
an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all
entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But
in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be
broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to
be vulnerable.”
I had been taught that loving someone who is not married to
you was a form of unfaithfulness to my future spouse, and that no one wants an
“opened package,” a “spoiled dinner,” “damaged goods.” That if I allowed myself to have feelings for
anyone, I was “defrauding” or cheating them, and giving away a piece of my
heart I could never get back, ending up with a scarred heart.
I learned that God is a God of redemption and forgiveness,
and a God of love and mercy. He wants us to love all men, and gave us the
hormones that lead to attraction on purpose so the human race wouldn’t die off
the face of the planet. If we make
mistakes in our love lives, God is all about forgiveness and restoration. The blood of Jesus Christ wipes the slate
clean--there is no more guilt, it’s
GONE. I remember what freedom I felt
once I realized that truth! First, that
having feelings for someone is not a
sin, and secondly if a relationship doesn’t work out, I’m not damaged goods at all.
Armed with this new realization and information, I decided
to take the plunge and ask the young man I was interested in if he intended to
pursue our relationship beyond friendship.
He responded positively, and answered that he liked me very much but
wanted to finish school before starting anything serious. I was content to wait, and continued to write
to him and see him once or twice a year. I didn’t put two and two together at
the time that I was carrying the friendship 95% of the time, and that not once
did he ever travel to see me or my family, or put any visible effort
into our relationship. I was so lonely
and ready to settle down, and thought this could be it--he could be The One.
Then, without word or warning, he froze me out. I didn’t hear a single word from him for
eleven long months, and finally faced the fact that he couldn’t possibly be
interested in me. And I realized I was
okay with that.
I started going to a new church (Living Grace Bible Church
in Bakersfield), joined a martial arts class, and almost moved to South
Carolina when a good friend offered me a job out there. All this time I hadn’t spared a thought for
T.J.; I figured I’d see his wedding announcement on Facebook or something of
that sort. I kept hoping that maybe my
young man might miraculously come back to me, but knew I needed to stop
sniveling at the altar of romance and that if he wanted me, he knew my phone
number.
I focused on my life and
threw myself into work, my new friends, martial arts, my new church, and
spending time with my family. It felt so
good to be almost entirely free of boy problems, and I tried to smother my
loneliness with a social life that involved going to the movies with sisters
and friends, and trips with my cousin, my friends, and my sisters to the coast
to go kayaking and sailing.
It was a sweltering hot Sunday in Bakersfield, July of 2014
and my cell phone rang. I immediately
recognized the number and my heart did a somersault. What does T.J. Greer want?! I thought to myself as I answered
nervously.
“Hello there!” a familiar voice said cheerfully. We chatted for a minute, catching up on old
times, and then he dropped a bombshell on me.
“Did you know I moved out and live in Porterville now?” he asked.
What the heck?!!!!! That moment in time was frozen as
my mind raced, instantly comprehending the possibilities. I realized in that second that I was no
longer talking with a boy, I was speaking to a man, who had made a man’s decision to start his own life and his
own family, and that realization crashed into my mind with the intensity of an
explosion. Perhaps, perhaps T.J. was
marriage material after all! He asked if I would meet him at the local Black
Angus restaurant, but I couldn’t handle that much emotion all at once, and was
far too nervous of something that sounded an awful lot like a date (he informed me in the same conversation that
his girlfriend just broke up with him a couple months before.) I politely
declined, and we chatted a bit and then hung up.
T.J. is a very persistent fellow, however. One week later he called again. “I am on my way
back through Bakersfield,” he said. “Is
there any way we could meet up somewhere?”
I happened to be hanging out at a good friend’s house, and I figured it
would be “safe” to invite him there, as I knew my friends were very sociable
and liked having people over all the time, and it meant I wouldn’t have to be
alone with T.J.
He arrived late because of traffic delays, and I had to talk
him into my friend’s driveway because they live out in the countryside and
directions were a bit confusing.
I will never forget how I felt standing on the balcony of
that two story house, watching my friend T.J.’s red Jeep with a mattress tied
on top slowly making it’s way up their long gravel driveway between the
eucalyptus trees. (T.J. has always been
a careful driver!) He parked and got out
of his Jeep as I came down the long flight of stairs from the balcony.
It was a Romeo and Juliet moment. His eyes lit up with happiness and
recognition, and then bugged out in awe as he saw me descending that stone stairway
in Daisy Dukes and a red American flag tank top. As he told me later, “I had never seen your
legs before!!”
He caught me up in a giant hug, and I introduced him to my
friends. He easily fit into my social
circle, laughing and talking and praising my friend’s cooking, and was game for
whatever we wanted to do that evening.
I was extremely nervous, and trying without success to stuff
this new T.J. back into the mental box he had always stayed in before. We all decided to go over to another friend’s
house to eat ice cream and cookies and watch BBC’s latest episode of Sherlock starring Benedict Cumberbatch. TJ made himself right at home, settling on
the sofa, eating ice cream, and talking nonstop. I avoided sitting too near him and was being
as coy as possible. At one point he
casually called out across the room, “I love you Jenna!” which embarrassed me
extremely. I did not want anyone to think we were an item, and yet despite my
efforts that night one of my younger friends teased me:
“Are you going to marry T.J., Jenna?”
“Certainly not,” was my instantaneous and defensive
response. Ha!
I walked him out to his car when he left, resisting with all
my might the magic of that warm, moonlit summer evening. He hugged me and said good-bye, leaving me to
deal with a host of new and old emotions!
Three days later it was my birthday, and TJ had promised to
drive the hour from Bakersfield to Porterville for my birthday party. I was hoping he’d come, and praying he
wouldn’t. It was a really long drive for
him, and I’d feel obligated to be nice to him if he drove two hours just for my
birthday! I was in an agony of
nervousness, but he didn’t show up, and I was both relieved and disappointed.
My old flame called me for my birthday though, and sent me a
gift. It had been eleven months since
I’d heard a peep from him, and I was transported into the seventh heaven with
renewed hope on that score. I sound
needy and desperate, because I was! I
still had lots to learn.
I figured that I could be mature about this. I had lots of guy friends now, and knew how
to handle the male half of the human race, or so I thought. I texted back and forth with T.J., solving
the world’s problems. There were even
several long phone calls; I remember talking to him for an hour lying prone
under my friend’s desk, because my phone was almost dead and that’s where the
charger was! He was so sympathetic and
smart and easy to talk to.
One month later my Mom, sisters, and I all planned to attend
a bridal shower in Porterville for some mutual friends who would be married
soon. I made plans with T.J. to drive up
the mountains after the shower to where some more mutual friends were camping,
for campfire time and just for the heck of it.
I have an adventurous side that enjoyed toying a little with danger, and
was very confused and emotional about everything. I did a lot of extra praying in those days!
I met him at his tiny apartment on “B” street, and he proudly showed me around
the two rooms that he called home. There
was a combination living room/kitchen and a large bedroom with a bathroom
leading off of it. I had asked one of my
sisters to come with me, because I was nervous about meeting a young man alone
at his apartment. She wasn’t much help,
funnily enough! The place was the size
of a postage stamp, but not small enough to prevent Andrea from making herself
scarce, grinning knowingly in a way that was irritating because of what it
implied. I helped T.J. unload tools out
of his Jeep to make room for passengers, and he made coffee for us while
describing in plaintive tones what a lonely life he led, all alone without a
wife. I covered my confusion at how
matter-of-factly he said this by scoffing at the idea of being lonely, and
bragging that I was perfectly happy with my singlehood. Ha!
We had a great time on our two hour drive up the mountains,
and then two hours back again. Andrea
pretended to be asleep in the backseat the whole way. T.J. talked non stop about everything--mostly
theology. I did not like the way he had
grown up and passed me in maturity and outlook on life--it just wasn’t
fair! And if possible he had grown even
handsomer and sexier, his rough edges had matured and softened, and every
little thing that had annoyed me about him before had entirely
disappeared. And that annoyed me.
At Balch Park Campground we had a wonderful time with our
friends, going on a hike, playing guitars and singing around the campfire. Afterwards I learned that our friend took
T.J. aside and asked him if he would reconsider pursuing me as a wife, and TJ
was like “I’m on it! Don’t worry about
it.” 😁 He told me later that he
had decided I was the one for him from the first moment he saw me coming down
from the balcony at my friend’s house.
After arriving safely, very tired and very late, at TJ’s
apartment (Andrea asleep in the backseat the whole way), the three of us walked
down to the corner gas station and TJ bought us drinks for the way home. I remember he recommended a strawberry tea
drink, whereupon I purposely chose something else just because I was still
being a little brat and trying to push him away. I was like a moth irresistibly drawn to the
flame and then saying “ouch” when I touched it!
About a week later, out of the blue I decided to call TJ’s
older brother Ben on the phone. I hadn’t
talked with him in probably five years or so, and TJ told me Ben was courting
Stephanie, another mutual friend of ours.
I always liked Ben and it was nice to talk with him and catch up on his
life. He told me that T.J. was planning
a trip up to Lake Isabella to visit Stephanie and her family while Ben was
there, but his car broke down again
and he wouldn’t make it unless he had a ride.
I took the hint and suggested driving T.J. up in my car. Ben liked the suggestion immensely, and of
course T.J. did too--so it was agreed.
Little did I know that decision would change my life forever!
One warm, sultry week in September ended up being the
hardest and wildest emotional roller coaster seven days ride I have ever lived
in my life!
The week started out ordinarily enough, until Thursday
afternoon. Remember my old flame? His brother called me up and asked me to
volunteer for another project like I had done in the past, and told me that his
family had made the condition that I must never be alone with said old flame
while I was there. This audacity and
lack of trust on their part infuriated me to the last degree. Not because I wanted to be alone with him anymore, I was simply extremely
offended that they would make a request like that. I should have simply and flatly refused, but
I was a pushover back then and hadn’t grown a backbone yet. Plus I still clung to a small hope that the
relationship might still work out after all.
So I called Old Flame and asked him a question whose answer I should
have insisted upon long, long ago: “ARE
YOU or are you not interested in me?!!”
“No,” he replied. “I am no longer interested and please
don’t think about it any more.”
All the hopes and dreams I’d hoped and dreamed for three
years came crashing down about my ears, and I cried my eyes out for a few
hours. I had already moved on with my
life and it wasn’t actually the end of
the world, but it sure felt like it in the moment! It was very freeing though to finally have an
answer. I didn’t feel like I could
seriously consider anyone else while I still had this old relationship hanging
on, and although it hurt so much yet it felt good to sever that tie
forever. I felt foolish for wasting
three years of my emotional time on someone who wasn’t even interested in
dating me, much less marriage!
Saturday morning thirty hours later found me in my car
headed up to the mountains again with T.J. Greer, this time with no chaperone aboard. We talked non stop the whole two hour drive, and finally arrived at Stephanie's house.
That’s when things got really interesting. T.J. and I hung out with
Stephanie’s older sister Carly and her mother while Ben and Steph made googly eyes at each other, and I teased Carly and T.J.
relentlessly.
The three of us decided to take a walk down the creek near
their house, forgetting what a hot day it was.
We wandered down the driveway and were soon greeted by a blast of hot
air from the rocky, dry, weedy creek bed in front of us. Jumping from rock to rock, joking and
laughing and having a general good time, I remember secretly wishing Carly
wasn’t with us and that I could have T.J. to myself.
It was as if Cupid had heard my unspoken request and shot an
arrow at us. “You go on without me,”
said Carly. “I want to rest!”
T.J. and I leaped from rock to rock, threading our way
between thorny dry bushes and keeping a sharp lookout for snakes. We slid down the biggest ones, and I lagged a
little on purpose just so he’d turn around and help me up the steep parts. The heat pressed in on all sides like an oven
and shimmered up from the sand along the river bed. The sweat trickled down my back and I heartily
wished I’d brought a water bottle. The
creek bed grew choked up with bushes and we didn’t feel like pushing our way
through them, and climbed up the steep bank to the road again. I tied my shirt into a knot to let the breeze
cool my midriff, completely oblivious to the fact that most men find small
waists attractive. Poor T.J.! He was used to seeing me in ankle length
denim and calico skirts and dresses which completely concealed my figure, and
wasn’t prepared for the sight of my shapely midriff. I was only thinking of how hot I was feeling
and wanting to cool off, and am also slightly claustrophobic. I was at peak physical condition at the time
and I don’t mind admitting I wasn’t hard on the eyes. Poor T.J. didn’t know where to look! I wish now that I’d known a little more about
those things back then, and hadn’t simply been taught legalistic rules without
the reason behind them; at the same time I did
end up marrying the guy!
We walked back up the road to the house together, and it
felt so right and good. T.J. is such a
comfortable person to be around! I began
seriously entertaining the idea that I wouldn’t mind walking up the road beside
him forever.
 |
I was having such a good time that this was the one of the only
pictures I took of this epic Saturday! |
That evening Ben took his sweetheart Stephanie, her sister
Carly, T.J.and me to a nearby tiny
town on what could roughly be called a
date. We ate pizza and walked down by
the river, and saw a movie in the tiny one screen theatre. It was very funny because it was the corniest
tornado movie in existence, and I got a little scared--which amused T.J.
immensely! There was so much electricity
in the air from us two couples and Carly playing third wheel trying to make
sure nothing scandalous happened, that we could barely pay attention to the
movie at all! We played musical chairs,
shifting seats every little while because certain people wanted to sit with
certain other people. It was hilarious! I noticed that whatever seat I moved to, T.J.
would get up to sit next to me again.
When we whispered in the dark commenting on the movie, our heads
“accidentally” touched.
Afterwards I went to the bathroom while everyone else headed
out to the car, and I wondered if T.J. would stay behind and wait for me. Sure enough, when I came out there he was,
smiling and holding the door for me like gentleman. I was touched and impressed. It was one of those many small but
significant defining moments that when added up made me realize that I wanted
T.J. Greer to ask me out!
Back at Stephanie’s parents’ house up in the mountains, the
five of us climbed up on a huge flat topped rock in their backyard to
stargaze. It was a glorious warm night,
and with no city lights to compete the stars were spectacular! I will admit that we didn’t pay very much
attention to them though. Ben and
Stephanie were surreptitiously holding hands in the dark, and T.J. and me were
covering for them and trying to distract Carly so she wouldn’t notice. T.J. kept scootching closer to me in the
dark, and I kept scootching away from him as far as I could get without falling
off the rock. I was enjoying the evening
very much and at the same time realizing that I was on the brink of making the
most important decision of my life. Did
I, or did I not want to marry T.J. Greer?
I don’t know what I would have done if he’d tried to hold my hand or
something! The electricity between us
could literally be felt.
I drove home in the dark alone (T.J. caught a ride back with his brother in the
morning). I couldn’t sleep a wink all
night. I prayed with all my might that
the Lord Jesus would give me peace and direction! I was worried to death that I might be on a
rebound and affected by lingering feelings for Old Flame, but at the same time
I realized that the lingering feelings helped clarify things for me and helped
me see facts more objectively than if I was completely head over heels for T.J.
alone. I could make a rational decision
based upon the fact that T.J. was a mature, godly, amazing person, and not just
on the fact that he’s incredibly hot!
When Sunday morning dawned I had made the decision in my
heart that yes, I could marry T.J. Greer.
Now how on earth was I going to let him know?! Not only had I said no to him six years
before, I also recently informed him again that I was only interested in
friendship, and kept sending him mixed signals every time I saw him. The poor guy deserved a straight up answer to
The Question!
That morning in church I barely heard the sermon. Afterwards my friends and sister and I all
went out to eat at Chipotle, and while I was in line to get my food T.J.
called. He asked me if I would like to
have sushi for lunch with him and Ben. I
enthusiastically agreed, and left Chipotle as soon as possible. I had a slight scheduling problem because I
was in charge of irrigation at the farm half an hour away where I worked, and
was supposed to shut off a pump at 1 p.m.
I raced madly home, shut off the pump, and raced back to
Bakersfield--where Ben and T.J. had been waiting for me at Love Sushi for forty
minutes. I was so touched that they
would actually wait! T.J. and I sat
together in the booth, and he accuses me of being all snuggly or whatever,
while I remember he was the one who kept putting his arm around me and acting
like I was his girlfriend! The three of
us talked and laughed nonstop and I enjoyed my first experience of sushi. My family is a Taco Bell and In ‘n’ Out
family, and I’d never had sushi before.
Afterwards the three of us squeezed onto the bench outside
and talked some more. I had to give T.J.
a ride home and invited him to spend the rest of the day with me while Ben left for San Diego. T.J. and I went grocery shopping, and I had a
Perspectives missions class to attend
in the evening. While we waited for
class to start we flopped on our bellies in the grass in a park and talked some
more. I was desperately trying to summon
the courage to tell him that if he was still interested, I wouldn’t say no this
time. I couldn’t say it though! It was too hard. We went into class together and someone asked
me if he was my boyfriend. Little did I
know that was the last time I would say no to that question!
I didn’t tell him at the park. I didn’t tell him on the drive home to
Porterville. I couldn’t! Next morning I was in an agony of not knowing
what to do. Finally I decided to make
use of that personal, yet safe and impersonal device--the telephone. I called T.J. at work and stammered out the
words, “If you are still interested, I want you to know I won’t say no!”
“Thanks for telling me,” he responded. I didn’t know that he had a plan all along,
and was intending to ask me out and woo me into liking him in two weeks when I
came back from my trip to Oregon! My
phone call gave him the go ahead though, and he is not a man who wastes time.
About a minute later I received a text from T.J. “Would you like to go out to dinner with me
tonight?” it read. Would I!
Because of scheduling issues our date was postponed till
Wednesday. T.J. had a bluetooth headset so he could talk while at
work on his construction job, and we talked 4-5 hours each day leading up to
our date. It was like a dam had burst,
and all the hopes and dreams and plans we both had in life came spilling out
together into one glorious river that sang harmoniously with joy and
peace. We literally thought alike and
had the same tastes in everything. I was alternately blessed and astounded by
T.J.’s depth of thought and maturity, and how the difficult experiences he’d
gone through recently had not embittered him, but molded him into a strong
decision maker and an even more tender hearted person than he was before. I loved his heart and his amazing sense of
humor, and kicked myself a hundred times for dragging my feet and not marrying
him years before! At the same time I
felt no regret and knew that the experiences both he and I had meantime had
grown us up into the people we were today, and that God’s timing is always
perfect. My heart hadn’t figured out how
to be in love, so I wasn’t quite in love yet.
But I was falling fast!
Wednesday we were so giddy and anxious to see each other
again that I called my boss and asked for half a day off work, and T.J.’s car
conveniently broke down yet again. (For reals--that car was a piece of
crap!) I remember how I wanted to look
beautiful and perfect for my first date ever, but at the same time I couldn't wait to see him! I brought my
date night dress along for the evening but wore jeans and my favorite green
shirt when I drove to his house that hot afternoon. Never had an hour crawled by so slowly in all
my life before, and never had there been so many stop lights in the world that
all turned red! I was driving to see the
person I planned to marry, and my beating little heart could hardly contain the
emotions swirling inside. My family knew
and were very excited and happy for me, and T.J.’s family had called to
congratulate me and give their blessing.
I will stop to comment here that it seems like in every
romance I’ve ever seen on TV or read in a book, the girl involved goes through
periods of intense self doubt and wondering if so and so was “the one” or not,
or praying for weeks on end uncertain of God’s will. I honestly never experienced this with T.J.
Greer. After my talk with God after our
visit Saturday night and coming to my decision, I never even felt like looking
back for a moment. It was the hardest
and yet easiest decision I’ve ever made in my life, and the peace in my soul
was a solid rock that never shifted in the slightest. Thomas Jonathan Greer was the man for me, and
nothing on earth could shake that conviction in my heart! In other words, the hunt was over. All I had to do was hogtie my man to the hood
of my truck and bring him home.
I pulled to the curb on “B” street in Porterville, trembling
and weak kneed from excitement! After
the hours we’d spent on the phone it was a shock to the system to see him again
and for the first time in a romantic light--allowing myself to release seven
years’ worth of feelings and emotions attached to this person. He met me at the door, we smiled into each
other’s eyes, and I fell into his arms.
I was home, and would never again feel alone, unloved, or unsafe.
That afternoon was surreal.
We ran some errands in town, and he drove my car. We awkwardly tried holding hands, and almost
crashed a few times because we kept looking at each other instead of the
road! At Radioshack T.J. bought me a
headset just like his so we could talk to each other hands free all day long. What a glorious thing technology is! We walked around downtown a bit, and got the
hang of this holding hands thing. That
evening T.J. took me to a little Chinese restaurant--another new experience
because I’d only had Chinese food once before and wasn’t a fan. But now I was with someone who’d traveled to
China several times and knew exactly what to order. I remember we had Mongolian beef and hot and
sour soup, which was amazingly delicious but we both were so nervous and
excited that we couldn’t eat. He pulled
out a beautiful heart shaped necklace and asked me if I would be his
girlfriend.
Afterwards we drove to a tumbledown yellow shack T.J.
thought was picturesque, set up a tripod, and took our first pictures together.
 |
| First Date! |
Two days later as we walked down the lighted streets of
downtown Porterville in the evening with our arms around each other, I knew I
was completely in love.
Three days later we kissed for the first time.
One week later we took our first long trip together. I had promised Old Flame’s brother that I
would help him with his project and another brother of the family invited T.J.
along. That was one of the funnest and
most awkward things we’ve ever done, and we created a lot of good memories
right at the beginning of our relationship!
We kissed on bridges in the moonlight, at bus stops, and once in the
middle of Interstate 5 just because we could.
We made new friends and were reacquainted with old. We drove from southern Oregon to Portland
on an errand, staying the night with a dear childhood friend of mine. We were taken under the wing of a random
family we met along the way who befriended us and gave us a wonderful and
relaxing break after working our hinies off for ten days! They took us to dinner and a movie, and took
us to the airport in the morning. They
were the first friends we made together as a couple, and we remember them
fondly and hope to see them again someday.
We flew home exhausted, having learned a whole lot about each other in a
very short time!
October 24th T.J. got down on one knee and asked me to marry
him, and I said “Yes!” while jumping up and down feeling like I would explode
with happiness. He gave me a ring that
we had chosen together along with his parents and with the blessing of
mine. He also gave me a gorgeous red
rose dipped in glass and gilded with gold, and said it represented our
relationship--beautiful and lasting forever.
Thankfully both of our families thoroughly approved of our
decision. I’d always liked his family,
and T.J. went out of his way to spend time with my sisters and parents and let
them get to know him better. He also
came to Thanksgiving with us and spent time with my relatives. During this time of planning for our future,
T.J. decided that Bakersfield had much more potential than Porterville, and I
found an apartment for us in a quaint older neighborhood and my sisters helped
us move him in. The Lord provided a
job for T.J. in a matter of days. We wanted to have our wedding as soon as
possible, but the closest date that worked for everyone was January 10th.
All of our friends and relatives pitched in to help put our
wedding together. My cousin Christina
and some of my sisters came along with us wedding dress shopping. The looks we got in the bridal
boutiques! Those dignified ladies who
wanted to sell me the ugliest, most expensive, and uncomfortable dress in
creation did not know what to do with T.J.
We had decided that we would ignore the wedding traditions that didn’t
mean anything to us, and one of those was the rule that the groom can’t see the
bride in her dress. T.J. helped me
select a dress, and then I had some dear friends make it over because it wasn’t
quite what I wanted. I could not find
bridesmaid dresses in the color we wanted--David’s Bridal has every color of
the rainbow except for orange, apparently--so I bought the fabric and sewed
dresses for Christina and two of my sisters.
We selected the color orange because it is my Dad’s favorite
color and he had teased me my entire life that my wedding will be orange
someday! He cried when we told
him. It worked out very well--one of my
favorite flowers is Tiger lilies, and my mother in law is a florist and did
all the flowers for us. My own mother
helped decorate for the reception and coordinate the food, and many other
people pitched in. Christina threw a
lovely huge bridal shower for us at the home of the friends where we first
“met” again, and it was a wonderful party!
It was overwhelming how much love and support were poured out on us.
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Dressed up for a friend's wedding about four days
after our first date |
Our wedding day was glorious. Not a single thing went wrong. The preacher we wanted wasn’t able to come,
so we conducted the ceremony ourselves, and Ben introduced us for the first
time as “Mr. and Mrs. T.J. Greer”!
Our first night together was spent in our little apartment,
and the next day we left for a week on the coast in a gorgeous mansion
that some friends from church let us
stay in. We also went to Six Flags, and
relaxed and enjoyed each other.
Eight months after the wedding our first daughter was born,
six weeks premature.
One year and five months after that our second daughter was
born on Thanksgiving Day.
T.J. is the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. We have laughed together and cried together
and faced the storms of life together, and I can’t imagine doing life with
anyone else. He is consistently kind and
considerate, strong as an oak tree and tender as a child. He is faithful in God’s word, and wise in his
theology. Our girls adore him, and he is
a blessing to all who know him. On Wednesday it will be our third wedding anniversary, and I have not had one moment of
regret that I married him! I feel sorry
for all the girls in the world who do not have the privilege of being married
to T.J. Greer.
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| Greer Family |
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| Stoeppler Family |
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| My cousin and best friend Christina |
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| December 2016 |
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